


Sudongtober 2020

by yongbora



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, collection of oneshots / drabbles, trying the fictober thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:15:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 39,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26741242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yongbora/pseuds/yongbora
Summary: a sudong a day keeps the [insert whatever it is that you'd like to keep away here] away.ora sudong enthusiast attempts to power through writer's block and low motivation by tapping into their feels over dongie finally coming back
Relationships: Han Dong | Handong/Kim Bora | SuA
Comments: 119
Kudos: 129
Collections: Dreamcatcher fanfics





	1. A/N

so. after a long slump of little to no motivation - not only for writing fics but reading them as well - i've decided to attempt something different. i'll be following [this fictober prompt list](https://fictober-event.tumblr.com/prompts20), with sudong as my focus since they're the ones i'm in my feels about most of the time (not to mention all the dongie finally returning feels). i've got a sudong agenda to push so i'm gonna  _ push _

things of note 

\- chapters will not be connected to each other unless otherwise specified

\- these will be… unpolished. this is essentially a writing exercise for me, as i try to learn how to just let myself  _ write _ rather than constantly getting stuck in brainstorming/outlining hell. i'm gonna try to let myself be okay with sections being shorter or not quite as cohesive as i'd like, both in the interest of time as well as my mission of just getting the words out without too much overthinking. in short: little editing, much word vomit lol

\- involvement of the other members and side ships will vary prompt to prompt, sudong is the only constant

\- on that note, length will likely vary widely as well. anything from long one shot to quick drabble is fair game. it'll all depend both on the prompt and how life treats me for time that day

\- i'll post any warnings by chapter, at the beginning of each one. please let me know if there are more you think i should add, i'm always learning

basically, by dropping a bunch of sudong content, i'm about to attempt giving my muse a massive kick in the ass to force it to start writing again, and anyone reading along - y'all are my workout buddies giving me motivation to keep kicking. if you're down with that feel free to join me on this ride, and thank you. not sure if i fully realize what i'm getting myself into, but now i'm committed so let's start kicking

finally, a big shoutout to a legend. [maple's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeyoobin/pseuds/maple) incredible fic was the first i'd read in a while and exactly the push i needed to get inspired again and get this idea. please do consider [reading it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26593702) and sending maple some love if you enjoy it. you won't regret it and they deserve it. (also stan nb minji, they are a gEM)(or should i say... a star👀)

anyways, enough of me rambling. thank you and i hope you enjoy


	2. day 1 "no, come back!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handong agrees to yet another silly adventure with her friends, it’s not like the old house they’d always been warned about is actually haunted anyways.  
> ...Right?

“Please, Dongie? I promise it’ll be fun.” 

Handong crosses her arms. “Why is your idea of fun always something that ends up getting us in trouble?”

“Hey!” Siyeon protests, a pout already forming on her face. “It’s not  _ always- _ ...”

Yoohyeon chimes in before she can get too distracted by the tangent. “This one’s harmless. It’s not like anyone is keeping watch or anything, we’re not gonna get caught.”

“Famous last words…” Handong mutters, mostly to herself, tearing her gaze away to think over the offer again. She turns to Yubin accusingly, “and you’re okay with this?”

Handong’s frown deepens at the way Yubin doesn’t immediately respond, her eyes flitting around before landing on her girlfriend’s pleading expression. Yes, Siyeon has always been her weakness, but Yubin had long since accepted her role of keeping some of Siyeon’s more… adventurous ideas in check. 

“I mean… I’m kinda curious too, and-”

“ _ Yubin. _ ”

She panics a little, rushing out the next line. “-and! And Yoohyeon’s right, it’s not like anyone will catch us. No one steps foot anywhere near that place.”

Handong sighs. So much for counting on Yubin to be her fellow voice of reason. “Which just brings back my question of why we would  _ want _ to go there in the first place.”

Shifting her weight to one side, Handong stares down the rest of the group, confident in her reasoning. There’s so much they could be doing during their rare get together instead of this. Lining up their work schedules to get the old friends a whole weekend together is never easy, and Handong would much prefer a nice relaxing get-away to catch up over some romp straight out of a teen B movie. 

That is, she’s confident, until Siyeon and Yoohyeon both unleash their puppy eyes on her. 

Did she mention that she often admires Yubin’s strength, to deal with even one of those faces as often as she has to as Siyeon’s partner? Because Handong thinks even she herself deserves an award for dealing with Yoohyeon’s, and they’re just best friends.

\-----

The doubts come back in full force when they arrive, everyone stopping outside the car to take in the sight of the house. It’s presence is imposing, a large structure on the outskirts of the city, its age apparent in just about every aspect of its appearance. The rotting wood. The dark paint job that’s peeling in places. The sorry state of the windows - some broken or boarded over, and the surviving ones dirty enough to obscure any view of the inside.

Just the appearance alone would be enough to keep most people away. But add to it the stories of the house - the previous occupants supposedly murdered so many years ago, and the many stories of how it’s still haunted to this day - and one would think anyone with any sort of sense would heed the signs and find something else to do. 

But, no. Here Handong is, about to waltz right up to the place with her childhood friends. It’s exactly the sort of faux-rebellious outing she’d have expected of them back when they were all in their mid teens and that she  _ thought _ they’d have outgrown by now. 

Regardless, they're here now. And while Handong might've disagreed with this plan from the start, she's never been one to back down from anything once she's committed. And true to that part of herself, she's the first take a deep breath, square her shoulders, and start her approach.

It's quickly apparent that she's not being followed. 

"Well?" Handong asks, turning around to be met by three sheepish expressions. "Are we doing this?"

They quickly bustle into action, grabbing at things and patting down pockets while Yubin mutters about making sure they’re prepared and a flashlight slips through Yoohyeon’s fingers in her haste. Siyeon follows suit, double checking for her things. But her wide eyes don’t leave the house. An apprehension settles into her expression, replacing the bubbling excitement she’d had for the entire drive to get here.

The sudden nervousness is palpable in the way it rolls off the three of them. Handong, however, just smirks. She figures it’s only fitting. Serves them right they’d be the nervous ones now, after dragging her into this.

_ Besides _ , she thinks,  _ It’s not like anything’s actually gonna happen. _

\-----

Part of Handong is loathe to admit it, but the trip is actually turning out rather fun. The trek through the overgrown lawn to reach the top of the hill already had them in the right headspace. They’d been quite the adventurous bunch as kids, and they felt themselves returning to those memories as they approached. By the time they made it to the front door, while still a bit intimidating, the house was easy to see as just another place to explore together. 

After all, when the four of them are together, they feel like nothing could ever hurt them. After fifteen years of friendship, fifteen years of hardships that they’ve overcome together, that feeling has only grown.

So it’s with that sense of giddiness and invincibility that they traipse through the house. Still with caution, yes, they’re nothing if not a respectful bunch that doesn’t want to trash the place. But instead of apprehension there’s an eagerness to discover any and every secret the old structure has to offer. 

Handong is almost in awe of the interior. It’s run down and clearly very old, the lack of someone to care for it over the years very apparent. But it’s not the same repellent feel of the exterior. Instead it’s intriguing. The decorations that are still recognizable speak to an extravagance that would have been absolutely gorgeous in its prime. And everywhere they look they find old paintings, worn books, an odd toy here or there, a strange out-of-date tool… so many things with stories to tell about who used to live here and what it might’ve been like in their time.

Honestly, Handong gets so taken in by the charm of it all, she forgets about all the stories. In fact, the very reason they were even here in the first place. They did supposedly come here because of the rumors of it being haunted, after all. And while they’ve found a lot of things that could speak to the lives of the previous inhabitants, there’s nothing of their deaths. Nothing to suggest their continued presence after their deaths.

That is, until the noises start getting louder.

Handong had expected weird sounds. It’s an old house. Creaks, squeaks, groans, and perhaps even the odd thing falling over are hardly a surprise. But a persistent rattling that’s getting closer? Even Handong feels her nerves start to rise. And if the way her grip on Handong’s arm tightens is any indicator, Yoohyeon does as well. 

“Alright, very funny you two! You got us, so quit it!” Handong calls out. They’d split into pairs a while ago, she should’ve known it was only a matter of time before Siyeon decided to take advantage of it.

“...-t out…” 

Handong furrows her eyebrows. 

“Did you hear that?” Yoohyeon whispers, panic rising in her tone. 

“Really Siyeon? ‘Get out?’ Couldn’t you at least be creative if you’re gonna be an ass?” Handong shouts back. 

“Dongie… that didn’t really sound like Siyeon to me.” Yoohyeon grips Handong’s arm even tighter as she says this, eyes searching the dark hallway frantically for any sign that this isn’t what she thinks this is. 

The rattling keeps getting louder and Handong actually is feeling pretty on edge now, but there’s no way-

“GET OUT!” 

A sudden gust of wind accompanies the loud definitely-not-made-by-Siyeon exclamation, and the rattling suddenly surrounds them. The two women shriek, jumping and taking off for the door together.

Naturally, everything comes to a sudden stop once they barrel into the other room and straight into the arms of a startled Yubin and Siyeon. Briefly, they get to laugh at the fear coming from Yoohyeon and Handong, lightly teasing them for getting scared by the old house. 

But it’s not long at all before the rattling starts up again. This time, accompanied by whispered words just too quiet to distinguish ass anything but gibberish, but definitely loud enough for them all to hear.

This time it ends with a sudden bang somewhere else in the house that makes them all jump, clinging to each other.

Their nerves are fried at this point, each of them tensed like a rubber band pulled to its breaking point. The silence is oppressive, making their senses strain to detect even the slightest disturbance. Whatever is hounding them hasn’t hurt them… yet. It’s not a chance they’d like to take anymore. 

Low, otherworldly laughter slowly fills the room. Getting louder and louder until it too stops suddenly. And then the doors start opening and slamming shut over and over, and that same voice from before shouts at them leave once again.

That’s it for the group. Screams leave their throats as they let go of each other and bolt for the door.

Except Handong.

Call her stupid, a fool. Maybe those are terms she deserves right now. But her instinct roots her to the spot, and she listens to it. Chaos continues to unfold around her, but still nothing hurts her. So she stands her ground. And it’s only a few moments before she’s rewarded with a return to calm as everything around her quiets back down. 

It's not really something Handong knows how to explain, even to herself. But she knows that, yes, she's scared. But she's not  _ scared _ . The situation is new and uncertain. It's frightening. Despite that, she remains certain (okay,  _ almost _ certain) that she’s safe. 

The… spirit, or whatever it is. The presence that tried to chase them out, Handong didn’t feel anything resembling malice. Honestly, even now, after everything’s quieted down again and the presence isn’t so strong, Handong just feels  _ sad _ . It reminds her of days when she’d be so lonely it felt like her whole being ached for someone to be there with her, but when someone tried to approach all she could do in her pained state was push them away. 

Whatever’s in this house, whatever’s chasing them out, it certainly wants to be alone. But Handong thinks maybe what it  _ needs _ is exactly the opposite.

A long moment of silence passes. And then another. And another. Feeling defeated, Handong turns towards the door, and just about jumps right out of her skin. The sight disappears as quickly as it’d come, leaving Handong questioning if maybe it all is just in her head. But she swears she was just face to face with a translucent woman. Specifically one that was scowling at her. 

Laughter echoes throughout the room as Handong twirls in search of the source. Much higher and less evil-sounding than before, the sound almost reminds Handong of a car idling, or a turkey gobbling. The absurdity of it is enough to make her lips quirk up. A ghost trying to be big and scary but sounding like that? If anything she feels herself relaxing a bit.

The feeling she’s getting from the presence is almost… playful, now. Fear no longer even exists in Handong’s mind, curiosity easily filling the space left behind. She starts to think she wouldn’t even get scared again if the presence tried.

The doors slam again in a cacophony of noise as a cold draft blows through the room. Handong shrinks in on herself a little. Okay, maybe there’s still a bit of fear there.

As if content with having proved its point, the quiet returns. Handong squares herself up, drawing to her full height in order to access her confidence much as she had right before leading everyone into the house several hours ago. Obviously she has to make the first move if she wants to get anywhere with whoever’s in this house. 

“Look,” Handong says loudly, “I think we both know I’m not going anywhere. Come out!” 

She waits, eyes searching for any sort of sign her words are reaching a willing participant. After several agonizingly long beats, she gets what seems like a conversation that doesn’t include herself.

“‘Come out,’ she says,” the first voice says mockingly. “Come out and face me,  _ like a maaaaan~ _ ” the first voice continues.

A second voice joins with laughter. “Yes, so brave, like a knight who’s come to strike us down.”

Handong tries to interject because that’s not it at all, but their laughter easily drowns out her attempts to be heard. 

“I’ll be the dragon,” the first voice exclaims, “think you can slay me, oh brave adventurer?”

“Please,” the other voice scoffs, “you’re nowhere near big enough to be a dragon.”

“ _ Excuse me? _ And  _ you _ are? You’re even shorter than me!”

“I am  _ not _ !”

Handong falls silent as the bickering unfolds, the two ghosts slowly materializing into the forms of two women playfully jabbing at each other in front of her. They get closer and closer, their little fight getting more heated until they’re right up in each other’s faces. That’s when they apparently remember themselves and both turn back to look at their spectator.

Not sure how else to respond, Handong just waves politely. 

“Hi, I’m Handong.”

The ghosts share a look, first of confusion but then landing on a shrug. “Bora,” the ghost with the first voice she’d heard responds, before gesturing to the other woman, “and Gahyeon, my baby sister. Why are you still here? You’ve seen the  _ spooky _ ghosts, haven’t you gotten what you came for?”

A beat of silence passes as Handong flounders with what to do next. She can’t really say she expected to get this far. How does she tactfully explain that she’s here because Bora tried to act mean and scare her away but all Handong wanted to do instead was give her a hug?

“That’s not-, we weren’t here for that. Just curious. We, well, at least I didn’t expect there to actually be someone here,” Handong admits.

Bora rolls her eyes. “Sure. Then why didn’t you run too? Trying to prove something I suppose?”

"No, I-... I want to talk with you."

Bora seems taken aback. Like she’s never heard that answer before, or at least not in this way. Handong really does just want to talk, so she hopes that’s what’s coming across to the woman. "With me? About what?"

"You're acting all mean and scary but… you're not. I wanna know why."

The ghost looks unimpressed at that, eyebrows raising slightly. "Why what? You want to know why I'm not mean? Have you maybe considered that not all ghosts have to be cranky old bullies?"

"No! I mean, yes. I mean… oh whatever. You know what I mean." Handong huffs at the smug smirk directed her way. "No. I want to know why you're so…  _ sad _ ." 

The mirth falls from Bora's face, making Handong's stomach drop almost as quickly. the atmosphere itself turns sour, oppressive, like the entire room's suddenly been draped in a wet blanket.

Bora's tone is guarded when she responds. "Perhaps, and this is a wild concept, I know… it has something to do with being  _ dead? _ " 

Handong protests - she didn't mean it like that, nor to offend… but it's obvious she's worn out her welcome. Rather than listening, Bora disappears, fading away into nothingness as if she'd never existed at all.

Handong turns to Gahyeon, but she's no less cold in her demeanor. "I think it's time for you to go. Your friends are probably worried anyways." She too simply dissolves from view.

“Wait! No, come back!” Handong shouts, not caring about the footsteps behind her and that her friends certainly hear her. She just  _ had _ to put her foot right in her mouth, didn’t she? “I’m sorry!”

Her friends surround her, grabbing at her and pulling her towards the door. Their worried voices all overlap as they each scold her simultaneously.

“What are you doing? Are you  _ talking _ to it?”

“We made it all the way to the car before realizing you stayed why didn’t you  _ follow _ -”

“Gave me a damn heart attack-”

Defeated, Handong lets them drag her back out to the car. On the outside the house still looks the same as when they arrived. But Handong no longer feels intimidated by it. Instead, looking at it gives her that same melancholic feeling she’d gotten from the ghost inside. A loneliness that beckons her to help despite the ghost’s outward efforts to scare her away. 

Maybe she really is a fool for it, but Handong knows this isn’t the last time she’ll be seeing this house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can’t say i’m surprised that after explicitly saying the chapters will not be connected, the very first one sparks an idea too big for me to fully complete on time.. and that i’ll likely come back to in later prompts to continue, considering i already have some later scenes written out but just not the time to connect them all properly. 
> 
> anyways, thank you for reading ^^


	3. day 2 "that's the easy part"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bora thought she was just drinking lemonade. Is it really her fault for not knowing that prankster of a cat could write?

Bora isn’t really one to judge people. She never has been. It’s something about herself that she takes pride in. Where someone else might see a strange person that it’s best to steer clear of, Bora just sees another new person she can get to know. 

Case in point: sure, her neighbor, Handong, she does seem a bit… eccentric. What with her unusual taste in decor and strange knick-knacks all throughout her apartment (that when asked about she never gave more than a vague non-answer for what they were), Bora always thought of her as maybe a bit odd. 

And the cat. Don’t even get Bora started on the cat. At this point Bora thinks it’s safe to say they well and truly are rivals. She knows that while cats have that reputation for being smart and evil, they’re still just pets. But this one… Bora would swear in court it  _ knows _ exactly how to get under her skin and actually enjoys messing with her.

It doesn’t help either that her neighbor will always defend the damn thing - insisting that Bora be nice to it even after hours of it tormenting her. And when Bora would argue her case? All she gets in return are admonishments for how she talks about it. Her neighbor ignoring Bora’s (very valid, thank you very much) concerns about the cat being a brat and instead just gently reminding her that it should always be referred to by its name, or as “her companion,” and never just “the cat” or “her pet.” 

So yeah. Bora's neighbor, she's different. And rather than making more sense once she got to know her, the woman's only gotten stranger the more time Bora spends with her. 

Sweet, though. Charming, in her own way. And always very kind to Bora, if a bit strict about what she can and can't touch around the apartment whenever she visits. Then the closer they got, the more sides Bora got to see. She learned Handong could have a sharp wit and even a bit of a savage side once she got comfortable with someone. Or how her dorky side could be so incredibly endearing once she let loose with it.

Honestly, Bora knew from her first meeting with her that she was doomed to start nursing a huge crush on the woman. Every moment they spent together from that point forward only proved her initial prediction more and more correct. 

(Seriously, all Bora had done was the most basic, cliche meet-your-neighbors thing she could. But the way Handong’s eyes had lit up at the little tray of baked goods Bora had brought her, the disgustingly cute smile, the tiny promise to return the favor when Bora had some time to come over… Yeah, that meeting alone had fueled Bora’s already growing crush for weeks.)

What Bora didn’t know was the bigger, underlying reason for some of Handong’s more eccentric and just… out there oddities. And she definitely didn’t know that the way she’d finally discover that underlying reason, would be due to her love of lemonade.

\-----

"Ow! Damnit, I was drinking that you brat!" Bora glares at the cat before eyeing the fresh scratch on her hand. That pest actually left a decent sized cut.

She sends another dirty look towards the animal for good measure, only to laugh at the look on its face. If Bora had to choose a word for its expression, it'd be 'panic.'

(That's another thing to add to the strangeness of Handong. Bora's never seen such an expressive cat. It's a big part of why she swears up and down the thing knows exactly what it's doing to her.)

Even though it’s probably just Bora projecting human emotions onto the cat, it makes her feel a bit better. She hopes it’s panicking. She figures that’s what it deserves for all the times it’s messed with and taunted her. Maybe it’s not quite the emotion she’d most like to see from the animal since some remorse would be nice, but she’ll take it. 

Bora reaches for her glass, only to get hissed at. She recoils her hand, scowling. That lemonade actually tasted pretty good. Maybe not a whole lot like lemonade (okay, not at  _ all _ like lemonade), but still good. Who does this cat think she is?

“Really? What, is this the ‘cat only’ lemonade now or something? Don’t you have better, cat things to do when I’m here, like go nap in the sunshine or something?” 

Naturally, the cat doesn’t respond. But it does move in front of the glass on the counter, standing between Bora and her drink like a bodyguard in front of their charge. Bora scoffs and crosses her arms. She’s not even  _ that _ attached to the lemonade, but at this point it’s personal. She refuses to back down just because a cat got possessive over a beverage. 

Handong chooses that moment to join them in the kitchen, rounding the corner with a fond but exasperated, “alright… what’s going with you two this time?” 

“Yoohyeon won’t let me drink my own damn dr-”

A loud, urgent meow interrupts Bora’s rant before it can even get started. She’s heard a lot of different noises from that cat - plenty of them annoying as shit - but this one is new enough to make her pause. Handong freezes as well, and Bora watches as her gaze travels from the cat to the glass and back again, before landing on Bora.

“Please tell me you didn’t actually drink that.”

The serious tone makes Bora shrink in on herself a bit, but the absurdity of the situation keeps her indignant. How is  _ she _ in the wrong on this one?

“Why, is it for a special occasion or something?” 

Handong ignores her defensive tone and steamrolls forward with that same seriousness. “Bora, you know better by now than to be touching things around here without asking. And  _ especially _ eating or drinking anything.”

Her eyes roll before she can stop them. “Sorry, but I figured something as simple as lemonade could be considered safe.”

“I don’t have any lemonade.”

Suddenly Bora gets it. She’s been betrayed again. At this point Bora’s ready to consider Handong a co-conspirator in the cat’s schemes to mess with her. “Very funny, Dongie. But you’re not making me doubt that the lemonade colored liquid in a pitcher with the word ‘lemonade’ on it is in fact, lemonade. I don’t care how good an actress you are.”

Her neighbor’s eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean it says-...” Suddenly Handong turns to glare at the cat. “Yoohyeon, you did  _ not.” _

Bora wants to roll her eyes again at how determined Handong seems to play this out, but instead she focuses on how nice it feels to see Yoohyeon recoil from the harsh tone. It’s about time she got scolded instead of Bora.

Still, she can’t just… let Handong get away with this little act. Blaming the cat for what, tricking Bora into drinking some lemonade that’s actually not lemonade? Bora’s starting to lose track of the plot already.

“Dongie, please. Now you’re trying to tell me Yoohyeon can write? To make a joke about something looking like lemonade? Just how dumb do you think I-” Bora stops suddenly, a strange and unpleasant feeling welling up in her stomach. “-am..?” She finishes her sentence, but her gaze loses focus and her hand flies to her abdomen. Her stomach lurches and she groans, falling back against the wall. “Oh… I don’t feel so good.”

Vaguely Bora notices the looks of panic on both the other human and the animal in the room, but her brain is quickly overwhelmed by a fuzziness that dims her senses. Hands grip her and guide her over to the couch but even that feels far away. 

“Dongie?” 

A hand moves some of her hair behind her ear. A welcome comforting gesture, even if the sensation is still oddly muted in her mind. Handong’s face slowly comes into focus, and Bora’s mind seizes onto it like a lifeline.

“It’s okay, sweetie. I’m here. Focus on me, okay?”

It takes a moment to catch up but Bora nods in response.

Handong smiles. It’s a tight, clearly worried smile. But a smile nonetheless and Bora always cherishes those from the younger woman. She finds herself smiling back, and even though she can feel how dopey it must look, it stays.

“Good, good.” Handong forges on. “I’ll need you to keep focusing on me, okay? This isn’t going to be a good time.”

Bora’s face scrunches with the effort of understanding what the younger woman means. “I mean… I feel… weird? But…” 

A finger on her lips shushes her. “This is only the beginning.” Handong must see the fear leaking onto Bora’s face, because she restores her tone to a more reassuring one. “But it’ll be okay, you’re in good hands. I promise. Just stay with me, okay?”

_ Stay with me. _ Why is Handong making it sound like she’s about to die? Her language there does not match up at all with her assurances that it’s gonna be okay. 

As if whatever Bora drank decided to further prove her point, a shiver runs down Bora’s spine and suddenly everything is spinning. Her senses seem to be working again, thankfully. But also not thankfully at all. It makes all the sensations more intense as her focus seems to dive in and out of reality. 

At times all she can feel is the way her body is shaking, her whole world spinning as a white noise builds up louder and louder in her ears. In between, she catches bits and pieces of what’s happening around her. 

Handong pointing to the kitchen.  _ Spin. _ A soft pat on her cheek accompanied by a call of her name.  _ Spin. _ Something about grabbing ingredients, but the words are directed to someone else.  _ Spin. _ A loud meow.  _ Spin. _ “I don’t  _ care _ if she knows-”  _ Spin. _ Did the cat just turn into a person?  _ Spin. _ More gibberish about wards and potions and then it all falls into the spin and-

Wow, Bora feels like she’s gonna throw up.

At least she feels somewhat grounded again though. Before she wasn’t even in her body long enough to notice the nausea. Now she feels gross, and still quite disoriented, but she’ll take that over that terrible loss of perception she was having. 

“Dongie…” she groans, “what’s happening to me?”

Handong’s hand grips her own, and Bora focuses on the warm feeling it gives her. “That liquid you drank? It’s part of an unfinished potion. You just made it through the initial symptoms. From here you’re in for quite a bit more sensory overload, and likely a lot of hallucinations.”

Bora tightens her grip, panic flooding her with enough adrenaline to understand the severity of what Handong just told her. “What the fuck? Am I gonna die? Handong, I don’t wanna die!”

The younger woman gently shushes her, combing through Bora’s hair with her other hand. Her senses might be out of whack at the moment but her body still responds to the calming action.

“No, you’re not dying today, I can promise you that. That’s the easy part.” Handong says, way too nonchalantly in Bora’s opinion.

After all, if there’s an easy part, that implies there’s a hard part as well. Even in her inebriated state Bora catches that one. Obviously she’s relieved at the certainty she won’t be dying, but…

“Wha-... what’s the hard part?”

This time, it’s not Handong who answers, but a new voice as she arrives from the kitchen and makes Bora jump. “Keeping you sane.” A tall woman with striking silver hair stops in front of the couch and drops an armful of various containers in Handong’s lap. “That should be everything you need.”

Bora mind reels.  _ Keep me sane? _ ... _ Wait, who- _

“Thank you. Just stay close, I might need your help.” Handong responds.

The tall woman hums an affirmation and sits down next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder and watching Bora intently. Handong starts mixing things together and muttering words she can’t make out.

“Dongie, what-” Bora tries, but quickly loses her train of thought.

“It’s okay honey. Remember what I said? Focus on me. No matter what you see or hear, I’m real, okay? Focus on that.” Handong looks up as she says that, but as soon as she confirms Bora’s heard what she said she’s back to muttering and mixing.

Bora does as she’s told. Or at least, she tries. But everything’s swirling around her and the colors are so impressive she can’t help but look. She thinks she might see an elephant in the corner as well, but she tries her best to remind herself that can’t be right. 

And then there’s this silver haired chick - is she real? Bora stares as she tries to figure it out, before she remembers she’s supposed to be focused on handong. But when she turns back to where Handong is supposed to be, there’s nothing there. Her surroundings fade away until she finds herself in a void of sorts.

The fear really starts to set in now. 

Bora catches a few snippets of conversation from what she hopes is the real world - she hears Handong’s voice say something about her bedroom and wards against dreams. It doesn’t make sense to her, but she grasps at it. Handong said to focus on her. Her mind puts everything it has into holding onto that voice, but it’s like trying to pick water up with her bare hand. It drips away through her fingers and Bora’s left with nothing but a lingering feeling of what she tried so desperately to hold.

She’s being grabbed again and it still feels like Handong’s hands at first, but then there’s another pair and the noises all around her in the void swell and Bora can’t see anyone except imposing shadows and  _ where is she someone please- _

Terrified, Bora shouts out Handong’s name until she feels nothing at all.

\-----

When Bora comes to… well, she feels like shit. 

But as gross and worn out as she feels, it’s  _ herself _ that she’s feeling. And that’s more reassuring than any other physical comfort she could have at the moment. She can feel all her limbs, her hearing isn’t filled with an overload of sound, and the world blissfully still. After whatever that was that happened to her, Bora thinks she could go without any sort of spinning for quite a while.

There is this odd weight on her chest though. Groaning with the effort, she slowly cracks her eyes open. 

And finds herself face to face with that damn cat.

Bora takes in where she is. If memory serves… this must be Handong’s bedroom. She thinks she recognizes the painting on the wall across from her, even if she can’t quite make it out from here. And she’s definitely on a bed. 

Her gaze settles back on the other occupant of the room. Yoohyeon blinks at her.

“Great,” Bora says, letting her eyes fall back shut. “You again. Just great.”

The cat meows softly, as if in protest. Soft fur tickles under Bora’s chin as the cat butts her head against it. Yoohyeon nuzzles closer, and Bora can’t deny that it’s… nice.

She can already feel a smile cracking through her faux-annoyance, but Bora’s never been one to back down easily. “This better be an apology, you little menace.” Yoohyeon purrs in response, continuing to cuddle closer, and Bora gives in. Despite the ache in her arm when she does so, she raises her hand to pet the silver animal. 

Okay, maybe the little furball isn’t  _ all _ bad. 

Their attention is stolen when Handong walks in 

“How are you feeling?” She asks, kneeling down next to the bed. She places her hand over the one Bora isn’t using to pet Yoohyeon.

Bora hums. “LIke I just went through a woodchipper and then got put back together again.”

“That’s great!”

Bora eyes her skeptically. Her neighbor at least has the decency to look a bit sheepish.

“I mean, maybe not great overall. But trust me, it could’ve been much worse.”

“Right.” Bora says. She takes a deep breath and flips her hand to intertwine her fingers with Handong’s. “And what was  _ it, _ exactly?”

The hand she’s holding tenses, Handong’s grip tightening just a bit. “I told you, an unfinished potion.” 

Bora senses the younger woman doesn’t need much prodding at this point to finally let out the whole explanation. And really, Bora thinks she’s earned it too after everything she went through. She raises her eyebrows. 

Handong pauses, then sighs. “I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I’m a witch.” She pauses again, gauging Bora’s reaction. Which, fair enough. Before today, Bora probably would have had her doubts about that statement. But if any of the broken shards of memories she has from whatever that liquid did to her are real, she’s ready to believe. 

When Handong sees no signs of skepticism from the older woman, she continues. “Yeah. Magic and potions and all that good stuff. Potions are my specialty. Your, uh, ‘lemonade’ though… that one needed another few hours of work before being ready for my buyer. The effects are nice once it’s finished - deep sleep and pleasant dreams with enhanced senses to help you remember them. When it’s still in progress…” She rubs the back of her neck, apologetic. “Well, you’ve seen what that’s like.”

Bora hums in acknowledgement. She can’t say she enjoyed the experience, that’s for sure. But, not one to dwell, she decides to move forward with hopefully lighter conversation. “Yeah. I even saw your cat turn into a person. Crazy, right? She’s enough of a menace as it is, imagine her having opposable thumbs to work with.”

Handong’s smile at that is… unsettling. 

“What?” Bora asks.

“Yeah, about that…” Handong starts, “not  _ everything _ was a hallucination.”

“Oh you’ve  _ got _ to be kidding-”

Yoohyeon hops off Bora’s chest, and by the time Bora blinks again there’s that same tall silver haired woman from her ‘hallucination.’ 

She sticks her tongue out at Bora and then leaves the room.

_ No fucking way. _

Then the realization hits, and Bora starts yelling. “Hold on, I  _ knew _ it! I knew you were messing with me on purpose!” She calls after her. Bora scowls at the muffled laughter she hears from the other room in response. Then she turns to Handong. “And you let me think all this time that I was being played by just a regular old cat? How could you?”

Handong laughs, but then switches over to a coo when Bora starts pouting. “Ah, I’m sorry sweetie. How can I make it up to you?”

Bora grins, sensing an opportunity. “How about… a kiss?”

If Handong’s startled by the request, she hides it well. She only hesitates a little before leaning over and planting a soft kiss on Bora’s forehead. Her heart flutters. Maybe… Bora’s not the only one who’s been thinking about this for a while?

“Mm. Good, but wrong spot. I’ll give you another chance.”

The next kiss landing on her cheek is nice, but still not enough. Bora eyes Handong’s expression, realizing it mirrors her own. 

“Almost there. One more chance if you want my forgiveness.”

Handong leans over her, hovering just out of reach. “Then I guess I better make it a good one.”

Her face draws closer, until only a hair’s breadth separates them. Bora’s stomach twists into knots but this time in the best way. Anticipation permeates the room, as if all of the heated moments, the near-confessions, all of the tension that’s happened between them since they first met, has all come back to fill this moment.

Unable to take the wait any longer, Bora uses what little strength she has at the moment to reach up that final distance to connect their lips properly. Handong follows her as she settles back against the pillow, easily taking the lead from there to let Bora simply… melt. Be consumed by the fire that is Handong.

When they separate, they’re all smiles and excitement about what the future holds. Even as Handong excuses herself to grab some more remedies for Bora’s leftover symptoms, the grin stays glued to her face. 

Sure, when Bora said her neighbor was odd, she had no idea this was the level of odd she was dealing with.

But now, as it all clicks into place, all the strange unique things about Handong finally making sense, all Bora can think of is how much she adores all of it. Every single thing that makes up Handong being something for Bora to fall in love with.

Because maybe there’s a lot she still doesn’t understand. And there’s still a ways for them to go together before Bora will feel ready to throw the ‘L’ word around for real. But what Bora does know, is that she’s ready to learn more about the beautiful mystery named Handong.

(And yes, she still means that even if it means more of dealing with that  _ damn cat) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh bora don't worry, we (including yooh) all know how much you actually love that cat~ (is this when i confess that suyoo is probably my other ult ship? ugh i love their dynamic so much)
> 
> anyways ngl i truly have no clue how we got to this point from where i started with this prompt but… hope you were entertained at least a bit lol
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	4. day 3 "you did this?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handong has an important question to ask, and though it isn’t really her style… for Bora, she’s willing to face any challenge.

Handong fiddles with the little box in her pocket, desperate for any way to relieve some of this nervous energy before Bora can notice something’s wrong. She’s somehow managed to keep everything a secret for the past few months since she bought the ring, the last thing she wants to do is blow all that planning only hours before it finally pays off.

"Nervous?" 

Handong snaps out of her staring contest with the floor to look up at Siyeon standing next to her. Biting her lip, she nods with a sigh.

Siyeon laughs a little, ruffling Handong's hair. Just enough to convey the fondness but not enough to mess up Handong's meticulously styled red locks. 

"Don't worry, it's all taken care of. Honestly in a way you've got the easy part tonight. All you have to do is sit back and wait until I tell you to go for it." 

Handong nods again. Her friend isn't wrong, per say. They've had this planned for several months now, deciding which show to do it at, where they should be seated in the crowd, when it would fit in the setlist, everything. 

Still, as much as it calms down the rational side of her brain - the part that did all the planning - it doesn't do much to stop the nagging voice in the back of her mind. The one that's all too happy to remind her of her insecurities and of the sheer number of eyes that'll be on her later tonight.

Siyeon seems to pick up on this lingering tension, dropping down into the seat next to her. "Don't tell me you're actually worried she'll say no?"

Handong shifts in her seat. "I wouldn't say…  _ worried..?" _ She trails off at the skeptical look from her friend.

"Dongie." Siyeon places her hand on Handong's back in reassurance. "C'mon, look over there." She makes a subtle gesture towards the other side of the waiting room, and Handong's eyes follow, landing on Bora. She's in her own world with Yoohyeon, the sisters bickering back and forth. No doubt it's over something trivial as per usual.

A fond smile slowly blooms across Handong's face without her even really realizing it. She can’t help it. Four years with this woman and she still gets butterflies without her girlfriend even having to try. Even from - she laughs as she figures out what she’s actually looking at - choking out her little sister for calling her an idiot. 

Siyeon chuckles, playfully poking at the smile. “See? Feel the way you light up just looking at her? That’s how she feels about you too. You have nothing to worry about.”

Warmth spreads across her cheeks. “Oh, stop,” Handong says, swatting at the hand still poking her face. It still doesn’t make her lovesick grin fade though, it still staying in place as she watches the siblings across the room make up from their fight and immediately pivot back into playful clinginess. She swears hanging out with those two can be like watching a tennis match with the way they bounce back and forth between rivals and best friends. 

“It’s not…” Handong sighs, finally bringing her attention back to Siyeon even though her gaze stays on her girlfriend. “I don’t think it’s that I’m as worried about.” 

Siyeon’s eyebrows furrow slightly, probably trying to figure out what else would be on Handong’s mind today. But it’s only moments before realization dawns on her. “It’s the crowd, isn’t it?” 

Handong tenses again under Siyeon’s hand, and the older woman knows she’s on the right track. “You’re nervous about everyone watching you, right? And… maybe whether or not Bora will like it?”

She relaxes, some of the weight sliding off her shoulders at the slight relief of someone else vocalizing her worries. Leaning over, Handong lets her head fall on Siyeon’s shoulder as her friend wraps an arm around her. 

“Oh, Dongie… I’m not even gonna address that second part, because I think we both know that’s not something there’s even a question about.” 

Handong scoffs a little at that, trying to act offended. But really, it’s a fair point. Deep down she knows that. It’s the whole reason she’s planned this out in the first place. She knows her girl. It just isn’t quite enough to stamp out the doubt. That nagging voice in the back of her head always has something to say.  _ Thinking something someone else has done is cute or romantic can be different from actually wanting it to happen to you,  _ it says. And it stays there, weighing on Handong’s thoughts no matter how many times she fires back with the knowledge that  _ Bora would love it happening to her, thank you very much. _

“But as for the crowd,” Siyeon continues, snapping Handong back out of her thoughts, “I think that’s just normal. I know I still get nervous and I’ve been performing in front of crowds like this for years now.”

“That doesn’t exactly make me, someone who has  _ not _ been doing that, feel much better.”

“Hey,” Siyeon chides her, bumping her with her shoulder, “let me finish, you dork.”

Siyeon ignores Handong’s indignant ‘hey!’ to forge on. “As I was saying, despite that, just looking at Minji whenever I find her in the crowd makes it all go away.” 

Handong rolls her eyes, playfully pinching Siyeon’s side and making her squeak in surprise. “Please, I thought this was supposed to be you comforting me, not trying to prove you two are just as disgustingly cute as Bora and I.”

“What? No!” Siyeon laughs as she squirms to avoid more pinches while still holding on to Handong.

When their laughs quiet down and they settle back into their previous position, Handong feels Siyeon get serious again. “What I meant is, this is a big day. For both of you. And it’s  _ Bora. _ The girl you’re head over heels for. When it gets time for you to ask that question… there won’t  _ be _ anyone else in that crowd. It’ll just be you two. Your brain won’t have space for anything else.”

During Siyeon’s little speech, Handong’s eyes find their way back over to her girlfriend (as they so often do). Her fond smile returns when she takes in the scene, all five of the other people in the room now gathered together. The other members of the band, Yubin and Gahyeon, along with Minji, Siyeon’s girlfriend, having rejoined Bora and Yoohyeon now that they could without risking being involved in their chaos.

Siyeon’s words calm her quite a bit. It’s always been easy for her to fall into the whirlwind that is Kim Bora. She can see how that same thing would happen for something as meaningful as her plans for today.

“Thanks, Singnie.” Handong says, her soft voice full of sincerity. 

Siyeon gives Handong’s shoulders a squeeze in acknowledgement. “You got this, Dongie.” They both settle into the calm afterwards, just enjoying each other’s companionship.

Seeming to sense Handong’s eyes on her, Bora looks up. A bright smile lifts her lips at seeing her girlfriend staring. She tilts her head like a puppy not long after, apparently picking up on Handong’s unusual mood. Immediately she makes her way over.

“Something up?” She asks, standing in front of Handong. Bora is more attentive to those around her that she might always seem, and even more so when it comes to Handong. It’s this exact trait that’s had Handong so concerned she’d give away the surprise at some point over the last few months. 

Thankfully, Handong knows her girlfriend, and therefore knows exactly how to get her distracted and content. 

She pouts and opens her arms to the shorter woman. “You’re too far away.” As expected, Bora’s face immediately lights up at the prospect of cuddles, especially ones initiated by Handong being the clingy one instead of the other way around. 

Siyeon pats Handong’s back as one last bit of encouragement before standing up. “Aaand that’s my cue to leave. Have fun and keep it PG you two, please.” She laughs off Bora’s light shove and her protest of “like you and Minji are any better at keeping your hands to yourselves” before making her way to the group on the other side of the room. 

Wasting no more time after that, Bora plops right in Handong’s lap. She picks up Handong’s arms herself to drape around her right where she wants them, making herself comfortable in her new seat. Once Bora is settled in, she hums contently and plays with the fingers of one of Handong’s hands, letting Handong shift a bit and press her cheek to Bora’s back. 

No words are needed. The soft  _ I love you, _ and  _ I love you too _ entirely felt in the ease of how they settle into each other’s embrace, and the comfort that comes with it.

Siyeon’s right. This is a special day for both of them, and Handong will be better off enjoying it the best she can than worrying it away. She holds Bora tightly around her waist and lets her girlfriend’s warm presence overwhelm any nerves, easily chasing them to the back of her mind. 

\-----

It’s a bit weird for Handong to be out in the crowd while the band performs, since she usually is in the back with the other stylist to help with outfit changes and makeup touch ups and whatnot. But it’s not the first time she’s let her coworker practice taking charge so she could watch, so she’s thankful for that to deter any suspicion from Bora about why they’re just in the audience tonight.

It’s a bit unusual for Bora as well, but for her it’s because her busy career as a renowned choreographer doesn’t let her come see the shows anywhere near as often as she’d like. It shows in the excitement rolling off of her before the concert begins, and how it only grows with each song performed throughout. 

Thankfully, the novelty and excitement of getting to just enjoy her friends’ incredible performances is enough to distract Handong from the fast approaching performance  _ she _ will have to put on soon. But it all comes roaring right back into her mind when she realizes halfway through a song called “Jazz Bar” - one of the band’s more laid back numbers, and Bora’s favorites - that  _ holy shit, it’s next. _

She pats down her pockets, checking for the millionth time that day to make sure the little box is still there, and sighs in relief when it is. 

The bridge of the song starts, picking up into a more upbeat swing section as Yubin leans over her drumset to provide some of her rare but treasured vocal lines, and Handong feels like she’s gonna be sick.

If she thought she had doubts back in the waiting room, it’s nothing compared to now. She looks over at Bora and Minji sitting next to her, dancing as much as they can in their seats.

_ Stupid, you’re just going to ruin Bora’s favorite song with this. What were you thinking? In front of this massive crowd? What if she’s not ready yet, think how uncomfortable you’re going to make her, forcing this intimate moment on her in front of all these people, in the middle of her sister’s concert? How could you- _

Handong’s rambling thoughts get cut off when she realizes the last chorus is about to finish up. The accompaniment stops and the last “ooh” rings out, as usual, only for Siyeon, Yubin, and Gahyeon to start right back up with the instrumental. 

Yoohyeon’s look of utter confusion when she hears Gahyeon’s keyboard start back up, closely followed by Yubin’s drums and Siyeon’s bass, Handong admits it lightens her nerves a little.

The lead singer doesn’t give her a chance to question it though, Siyeon’s voice quickly filling the venue. 

“Alright everyone how are we doing after that last song?!” 

She pauses for cheers, and Handong tries to untwist her nervous stomach.

“Everyone feeling good, feeling the love in our own nice, cozy jazz bar tonight?!” Siyeon nods in satisfaction at the responding ‘yeah!’ from the crowd. “Perfect! I  _ really _ want you all to feel that tonight, because tonight is a  _ very _ special night for a dear friend of ours!” The crowd  _ oohhhhs _ in response and Handong starts to slip out of focus.

_ It’s happening it’s happening it’s happening why didn’t you actually plan what to sAY- _

Vaguely she hears Siyeon going on still, continuing to set the scene. Something about love in the air and the song, and how much she loves this friend of hers, and can’t wait to see her happy.

“Do you think she’s gonna ask Minji?”

Handong suddenly gets dragged back into reality by Bora’s eager whisper. She looks over, and sees her girlfriend absolutely  _ brimming _ with excitement. 

“Seriously, do you?” Bora glances back at Minji, who’s watching the stage intently. “She doesn’t seem to have a clue. I didn’t think they were ready for this yet, but I don’t know who else it could be.” The smaller woman clings to Handong’s arm, shaking her slightly just from all the energy pouring off of her. “But it’s  _ so cute! _ I didn’t know Siyeon had it in her, to be honest. I would’ve bet money on Minji asking on some romantic island getaway or something.” 

And suddenly, Handong isn’t nervous anymore. She couldn’t care less that she knows she’s about to feel so much more exposed than she’s used to, so many more eyes on her than she’s ever been comfortable with since she’s always been the one behind the scenes. Content to have peoples’ eyes on her work (makeup, outfits, etc) rather than her herself. Because this is about Bora. 

She smiles, genuine and bright. “I don’t know either.” Handong gestures towards the stage, “guess you’ll have to watch to find out, you don’t want to miss it, right?”

Bora gasps, not having thought of that, and quickly turns back to the front without another word. Handong takes her in - the way her anticipation is tangible, her whole body practically vibrating in her seat as she watches and waits. Handong’s mind plays the shout-whispered “it’s so  _ cute!” _ she’d just heard over and over on a loop and it’s in that moment that Handong knows she made the right choice, and above all, knows she’s ready.

Just in time, apparently, because she hears her cue and suddenly she’s engulfed in brightness from the spotlight that swiveled towards them.

“-a very important question. Isn’t that right… Dongie!”

Bora gasps, her jaw dropping open in shock. Handong slips out of her seat to settle herself on one knee, grabbing the box from her pocket. Murmurs ripple through the crowd after their initial cheer - many surely whispering variations of ‘wait, their stylist? Oh my god that’s SuA!’ - but they remain mostly quiet to let the couple have their moment. 

Bora looks over to see Handong on her knee, and the reality of it seems to slam into her all at once. She jumps up, shouting “WHAT?” so loudly it echoes throughout the venue, even being heard over the soft “Jazz Bar” instrumental the band has kept going this entire time, earning some laughs from the onlookers. In a normal volume, she continues, looking at Handong in awe.  _ “You _ did this?”

Her tone isn’t accusing, rather, it’s awestruck. Bora is completely caught off guard. “This isn’t… you. Not at all.” 

Handong grins. “But it is you.” Her heart flutters at the way Bora’s expression gets even softer at that. “And that’s what matters to me.  _ You _ matter to me.”

A stage hand reaches them, having run over holding a mic. Handong takes Bora’s hand, and a deep breath. That’s the final straw for Bora, and her hand flies up to cover her mouth as the tears start. It’s enough to make tears prick Handong’s own eyes. But she forges on, deciding the best option is to make it short and sweet.

“There isn’t enough time in the world for me to tell you everything I love about you, but I hope I can spend the rest of my life trying to. Kim Bora, will you marry me?”

Bora’s chorus of ‘yes!’ over and over doesn’t even wait for Handong to finish, but the mic does catch a few before she springs into Handong’s arms. Far away, Handong hears cheers, and Siyeon’s voice yelling “did you hear that everyone? she said YES!” as they bring “Jazz Bar” back completely to sing the last chorus one more time.

But really, all Handong sees, hears, and smells is  _ Bora, Bora, Bora. _ Her girlfriend - _ fiancee _ \- pulls back slightly to look at her, both still kneeling in each other’s embrace. Handong takes the opportunity to slide the ring on her finger and Bora chokes back a sob. 

Maybe she had something else to say, but she can’t remember anymore once Bora’s lips land on hers. They kiss with a fervor that Handong  _ knows _ would lead to something more had they been at home. Once again, Handong is forced to admit Siyeon was right. She had nothing to be nervous about. And right now, the two of them might as well be the only two people in the world, much less the venue.

\-----

They settle back into their seats what feels like hours later, though in reality had only been the rest of that last chorus again. The song ends - for real, this time - and the band stops to take a moment. Siyeon, however, takes the opportunity to tease her fellow lead singer.

“Yooh, are you ready to join us now?” She asks, a laugh already in her voice.

Yoohyeon, who’d been in tears for just about as long as the newly engaged couple had, turns on Siyeon. “Why am I the only one who didn’t know about my sister’s proposal?!”

Siyeon laughs. “Please, Yooh, we all know you can’t keep a secret to save your life!”

She balks at that, looking to the crowd for support when Siyeon prompts them to agree with her. When they voice their agreement, betrayal crosses Yoohyeon’s face before she runs over to hit Siyeon. Siyeon just keeps laughing through, continuing to yell into the mic “alright let’s give it up for the happy couple and celebrate!” She holds out ‘celebrate’ as Yubin counts off and Gahyeon’s guitar leads everyone into their upbeat song “Tension.”

Yoohyeon finally leaves Siyeon alone so she can join in with her bass, taking a few more moments to recover and wipe her face before adding in her own rhythm guitar. And if her voice cracks a few times, still overwhelmed with the tears from before? Well, a few more cheers for her sister then, because who can begrudge her happiness at seeing her family happy?

\-----

The rest of the concert is both absolute bliss and agonizing anticipation. 

Handong revels in it. Bora can’t stay away from her, needing to be touching her in some way at all times. And whenever there’s a quiet moment, Handong catches her staring at her left hand as if still not fully believing the proposal was real. 

Minji leaves them be, joining in with them when they do get up to jump with the crowd or when they all sing along together. But for the most part she accepts her fate as the biggest third wheel ever for the rest of the night. Handong appreciates it. It can’t be easy sitting next to a newly engaged couple for an hour, especially before they have a chance to work all that affection out of their system. 

Because yes, they are still enjoying themselves. And yes, they do still want to see their friends perform and support them.

But, yeah. Maybe they’re just a little bit more eager than normal to get home and get some alone time together.

When the concert ends, the band and the crowd in turn offer them a final congratulations before dispersing. Bora clings onto her arm as they make their mandatory rounds, congratulating and thanking the band, and Handong’s cheeks hurt from how much she’s been smiling since “Jazz Bar” played.

\-----

Once they make it home, Bora shows Handong just how much she loved the proposal, and just how happy she is, in the way that they only can when at home alone.

And Handong takes every chance she gets to hold Bora’s left hand, gently placing a kiss on it just to hear the way Bora gasps happily every time.

Because each time, she knows. It was all worth it to see Bora this happy. 

And she can’t wait to spend the rest of her life making more moments like these with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something i am entirely too weak for.. soft established relationships :D (im a fluffball lmao)
> 
> in other news someone pLEASE come slap my hands away from the keyboard so i can write a drabble or two instead of wandering off into 3k+ land every time i have an idea that should be simple
> 
> anyways oof just in time before my shift in 20 minutes kdsjsdjk thank you for reading!! ^^


	5. day 4 "that didn't stop you before"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handong has her entire worldview changed by the last thing she ever expects… a human.
> 
> cw: nothing graphic, but stuff you’d expect for vampires. mostly brief mentions of blood, biting, death, also handong’s callousness towards all that at the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mandatory vampire fic because is it really a deukae collection without vampires?
> 
> quick note about the world for context:  
> in this au, humans can’t be turned, vampire venom is just a tool to help them feed, etc. rather than all vampires having been humans before, it’s more akin to say… elves and humans. they’re separate races that could theoretically go their entire lives without ever meeting one of the other race. also vampires have enhanced smell but that’s about it besides the venom, no super speed or anything like that

“Okay,  _ spill.” _

Handong jumps at the sudden intrusion of her thoughts. Rather than respond, she continues staring out the window, trying to regain the train of thought that had been derailed by the interruption. But alas, her companion doesn’t take the cue and quiet footsteps approach from behind. She sighs as Gahyeon, her longtime friend and often only confidant, stands next to her.

“Don’t act coy with me, we both know I can tell when something’s bothering you.”

Another sigh, and out of the corner of her eye Handong notices Gahyeon cross her arms. Seems she’s determined not to let Handong off the hook this time. 

“Perhaps the fact that it is bothering me, is  _ exactly _ why I would not like to talk about it.” She looks over with a slight glare, hoping to make her point. Instead, the younger woman just raises her eyebrows.

“Wow, okay. Now you’re definitely not going anywhere until we talk. You never use your formal voice on me unless there’s way too much going on up here.” She pokes Handong’s head before dropping back to her earlier stance, looking at Handong expectantly.

Handong can’t help the small quirk of her lips at her friend’s antics. They’ve been there for each other for a long time now, and she knows the younger woman always has her best interests at heart. If there’s anyone who’ll listen to the mess in her head right now with empathy and without judgement, it’s Gahyeon. 

If only Handong could do the same for herself. 

Because that’s really the trouble, isn’t it? 

After the realization she’d had tonight… Handong already knows where she stands. Her world’s been flipped upside down, but she knows it. She can see all the rubble, and knows what she believes and will continue to believe as she moves forward.

It’s reconciling that with everything she knew before, everything she’d  _ done _ before… that’s where she’s at a loss. Not to mention how she’s supposed to continue on living her life with the ones who’d taught her everything that she’d just had completely torn apart. 

Her family, her birthright, her title, her duties, her  _ home… _ Goddess, what is she supposed to do now?

Silence stretches on between them as all of this races through Handong’s mind. Her friend knows her well enough by now that she knows her best bet is to wait. Handong needs to be prodded to say what’s on her mind or else she’ll bottle it up and move on, sure. But once she’s been prodded she needs the time to think before speaking or else she’ll shut right back down.

Handong takes a deep breath.

“I let her go.”

\----- The Night Before -----

Handong makes her way through the crowd, effortlessly gliding between the cramped bodies. She’s never really liked the market squares, the sounds and smells of so many people in one place easily overwhelming her senses. Already sensitive, it doesn’t help that she spends most of her time in her quiet home with little company, her ventures into the world of man only happening once a lunar cycle.

As much as she dislikes it though, the crowd is perfect for what she’s here to do. Blending in is key when she’s out on a hunt.

Well, at least it is if one wants to be picky, rather than wait for a lone wanderer on the outskirts. 

Let’s just say Handong likes to have options.

Not that there have been many tonight. At least none that have caught her eye. The handsome merchant she’d made eye contact with an hour or two ago had seemed like a solid choice, but he seemed just a bit too high profile. Handong is confident in her abilities to remain undetected and blameless, but she still sees no need to draw too much unnecessary attention to any disappearances.

Handong dodges a couple drunks wandering past, scrunching her nose at the particularly offensive smell pouring off of them. Setting her shoulders with a huff, that’s when she sees her.

The woman cautiously steps out from an alley between two merchant stalls, and Handong’s first thought is how strikingly beautiful she is. She only really catches a quick glimpse of the shorter woman, but it’s enough to see her face. A face that completely outshines the bland and worn oversize travel clothes she’s wearing. 

The moment ends quickly. Glancing to either side of her, the woman hikes her hood up and dives into the crowd.

It’s the second thought Handong had, that has her following the woman before it even registers fully in her mind that she’s started moving.

That even from across the main merchant strip where Handong had been standing, the woman smells just as good as she looks. 

\-----

Handong is patient, but even she can get frustrated sometimes. Especially when following a meal as intoxicating as this one.

And even more especially, when it starts to feel like it’s on purpose. 

She knows better, knows that the woman is just doing her own thing with her evening. Handong’s never been noticed by her prey before once she’s decided on a target. Tonight is no different. But the way the woman stays just out of reach, always talking with someone or mingling in a group, never venturing anywhere that could give Handong a moment to get her alone… 

Well, it’s annoying. 

Lingering by a group of men drinking merrily, Handong watches as the woman’s hood finally leaves the group of similarly dressed travelers to wander once more. She waits a couple beats to see that the woman is likely making her way towards a couple stalls further down the strip. Also surrounded by large groups of people mingling together. 

Handong rolls her eyes and excuses herself from the drinkers. This is turning out to be a longer night than she originally intended, but now that she’s committed she refuses to settle for less.

Keeping her eyes on the hood, now over chatting with another woman who’s weaving a basket, Handong approaches once more. Her search for another casual place to wait is interrupted, however, by an unfamiliar voice behind her.

“You have to try harder if you want to catch  _ me _ off guard, sweetheart.”

Startled, Handong whirls around to see who could manage to sneak up on her. 

And comes face to face with the woman she  _ thought _ she’d been tailing all night.

\-----

Handong’s really starting to wonder how the hell she got here at this point. 

Once being discovered - again, something that has  _ never _ happened to her before on a hunt - Handong thought the night would be over. Or at least, this part would be. She most definitely had not expected the woman, who’d introduced herself as Sua, to begin dragging her around the town.

It leaves her feeling… strange. For a multitude of reasons. 

For one, she can’t fathom why after discovering someone following her, Sua had done anything besides turn her in, or evade her altogether. Since apparently, she had the ability. Prey getting the upper hand on the predator, and then willingly showing its hand? It doesn’t make sense to her. Sure, Sua likely doesn’t know Handong’s true nature, but surely she could feel that dynamic in the way she’d been following her.

But beyond that, it’s the way the woman is treating her. Handong picks up on the small ways Sua still shows her apprehension, like little questions she asks that seem nonchalant on the surface but are actually ways for her to try to parse out Handong’s intentions. Despite that, her overall demeanor is friendly, as if still trying to assume the best. 

Handong does realize it’s likely fake. If Sua can outmaneuver her in other ways, it’d be silly for her to assume the woman couldn’t fake a friendly approach to get her to let her guard down. But she can’t help but feel like it gets more and more genuine as the night goes on. Like how sincerely horrified Sua seems whenever something comes up and she learns Handong's never seen it before.

("What do you mean you've never heard a lute before? Oh, we're definitely paying Yubin a visit, she'll set you straight." Sua says, grabbing her wrist again and taking a sharp left. She continues to ramble about Yubin and her talents, "the best lute player in the whole kingdom" she says, and Handong just accepts the sudden new destination as she had all the previous ones.)

It's as they get further and further into the night that Handong  _ really _ starts to feel strange.

Because, she realizes with a start, she's actually _ enjoying _ herself.

It's something she never expected, never even thought was possible with a human. 

Her parents raised her with a very strict sense of propriety, one that involved very clear ways of viewing humans. They were food. Nothing more, nothing less. Something to be interacted with only once a lunar cycle, when it was time to feed. 

The possibility that if she got to know a human, she might actually enjoy their company… it never existed in her mind. 

But now that possibility is all too real when it finally clicks in Handong's mind that she's had several opportunities by now to get Sua alone. And now Sua is shyly inviting her to sneak into the castle with her to swipe some food from the royal food store… and Handong agrees. Because she  _ wants _ to, not because sneaking around secret shortcuts is a good way to get someone alone long enough to feed.

_ Just one more thing, and then I'll do it, _ Handong tells herself. She tries not to think too hard about the fact this at least the fifth time she's told herself that already tonight.

\-----

"Just one more thing" turns into many, and Handong finds herself opening up to the woman more and more. Their adventures get more daring, their giggles get louder and more frequent.

The two of them sneak into anywhere and everywhere they think they can get away with, finding any excuse to spend more time together. The casual but still suspicious questions turn into genuine conversation and gentle ribbing as they get more comfortable with each other.

Handong can't remember the last time she had so much fun… or the last time she felt so  _ free. _

Even as her thirst gets worse, an ever-present reminder in the back of her throat that she  _ needs _ to feed tonight, it's easy for Handong to push it to the back of her mind.

_ Just a few more minutes. _

\-----

It's when they find themselves on a hill outside of town, alone, laying on the grass together to stare up at the stars… that's when Handong gives up trying to convince herself nothing's changed.

After all, there really couldn't be a better opportunity, and Handong hadn't even had to suggest it herself. It'd merely been another case of Sua being baffled by the boring life Handong seemed to lead.

("You say you go out every single new moon but you've never  _ stargazed? _ Goddess, what  _ do  _ you do with your time? Stare at a wall all damn day?")

They're alone outside the city, and instead of satisfying her thirst, all Handong can do is watch, enraptured, as Sua points to another constellation and smiles. All Handong can think is that the smile shines even brighter than the stars she's supposed to be looking at.

How could she have spent all this time believing humans had nothing to offer? How could her parents still think that after all these years? How could Gahyeon continue to be such a good friend to her after having her own realization of this, and trying and failing to convince Handong of it over the past few moons?

Handong's eyes trail over the woman laying next to her, thinking of every detail she'd noticed tonight. The tiny sounds of excitement Sua makes when she tastes something good. The way she laughs just a little too loud, but can't be bothered to care regardless of how many strange looks it might earn her. How she'd managed to pick up on all of Handong's cues, pushing her to try all these new things but never going too far.

She thinks of all of this and more and wonders how she could've ever seen this beautiful person as something lesser than herself.

All of this churns in her mind and she  _ knows _ she'll never be the same, but it doesn't stop the thirst that's becoming more and more unbearable as dawn slowly approaches.

Bad things happen to vampires who don't feed once a moon. Handong's never had to see it, thankfully, but the stories are enough.

The thirst makes the vampires go feral, losing any and all inhibitions in their bodies' need for blood. They'll either slaughter a number of humans in their bloodthirst or get put down themselves, whichever comes first.

Obviously, Handong doesn't want that to happen to her. Both for her own sake, as well as for Sua and any other humans in the area. But the need is demanding now, the burn that had been present in her throat all night now spreading so it feels like her entire body is simmering under her skin.

She can't do it. She can’t do what she originally came here to do, not to Sua, and not to anyone else anymore either. Maybe if she runs far enough away… then what? She goes feral somewhere else and terrorizes some other town? If she goes home and admits to a failed hunt, her parents would sooner kill a human themselves and force feed her than let her be or kill her. 

Or… maybe. Maybe she can finally try what Gahyeon had told her to do - what the younger vampire does to sustain herself. Handong doesn’t think she deserves even more kindness from Sua tonight, but what kindness the woman has already shown her so far has been overwhelming in its warmth. So it might be worth a try. 

Tears prick at her eyes and Handong rips her gaze away to stare up at the stars. 

Sua stops her aside about Orion and the Seven Sisters to send her a concerned look. “What’s wrong?”

Handong shakes her head, still staring upwards as the tears fill her vision and start to spill out. Her voice shakes. "I'm sorry.” 

Sua rolls over to place a hand on her shoulder. “For what? I know our night started off kind of weird, but… it’s been nothing but a good time since then, don’t you think?”

Handong almost laughs, a sharp breath escaping through the tears she’s trying to hold back. “Weird. That’s one way to put it.” If only the woman knew what Handong had been thinking about her at the beginning of the night. 

“Okay, tense. But how bad could it have been to get you worked up like this?”

Handong swallows hard. Here goes nothing. “Sua, I-...” She finally turns back to look at her. “Can I feed from you?”

The phrase makes Sua freeze immediately, but the implications take a moment to settle in. Handong can see it as they do - see it in the way Sua tenses, then recoils her hand slightly, and then visibly starts fighting her fight or flight response.

It takes a few moments more before she responds. “You’re… a vampire.” It’s not a question. More of a verbal realization. Sua acknowledging it to herself, vocalizing it mainly just to make it more real.

Handong maintains the eye contact, honestly just surprised at this point that Sua hasn’t run yet. “...Yes.”

Sua lets out a breath and rolls onto her back, gaze returning to the stars. It’s silent for a while as she processes the information. “So… back there in the market square…” she trails off, letting the implication sit in the air between them. But before Handong can confirm, she continues. “That explains a lot, to be honest.” 

The way she says it doesn’t give any clue to Handong about whether that’s a good or a bad thing. When Sua doesn’t clarify, she asks. “It does?”

Sua turns her head back to Handong. “Yeah. It explains why you’re so uncultured, for one.” Handong allows herself to crack a small smile at Sua’s attempt at levity. Even now, she’s trying to make them both more comfortable.

Sua offers Handong a small smile in return, one that’s familiar by now from the many times she got to see it throughout their night together. But she can also see the apprehension holding down the shorter woman’s lips. It keeps her expression subdued as her eyes travel all over Handong’s face, sizing her up, evaluating her. It makes her feel scrutinized, but validly so she thinks.

The vampire is broken out of her thoughts when Sua speaks again. “Are you going to hurt me?”

The question makes Handong feel sick. Her insides churn with guilt and disgust. She would’ve. That had been her intention before everything else that happened last night. Maybe not to inflict pain per say, but that’s hardly a defense when her actual goal had been much worse. To kill her.

But after tonight… she’s never been more sure that she won’t. Handong doesn’t know if that can even begin to make up for it. She only hopes that it can, and that she can convey all the emotions swirling within her right now clearly enough for Sua to believe her. 

“No.”

Sua raises her eyebrows a bit, eyes still searching Handong’s face for meaning and any signs of doubt. Any reasons to disbelieve. 

Handong takes a deep breath, drawing forth every shred of sincerity she can muster. “I won’t. I promise.” 

A long moment passes of Sua still staring at her with an unchanging expression. But then, her smile releases, growing back into the full one Handong’s already come to appreciate so much. 

“Okay.”

Mentally, Handong flails a bit. Is she serious? “Okay?” Maybe she hoped, but she hardly expected the shorter woman to actually be willing. She honestly feels at a loss what to do now. She’s never asked, never actually had to do this while considering how best to go about it to make the human more comfortable both during and after.

And Sua… laughs? At this point Handong has long since lost track of how many times she’s been caught off guard tonight. 

Sua lays back down. “Yes, ‘okay,’ silly. You act like you’ve never done this before.” She takes a deep breath, centering herself. “Come here, you must be starving.”

Shaking off her stunned reaction, Handong moves cautiously to hover over the smaller woman. 

Sua laughs again, gripping her arms softly and running her hands up and down to soothe her nerves. “Relax, you don’t need to be shy with me.”

Hesitantly, Handong plants her hands on either side of Sua’s head, hovering right above her now and smiling nervously. “Are you sure about this?” Handong pauses, considering the last few things Sua said. “Have  _ you _ done this before?”

Sua sends her another genuine smile. “No, I haven’t. But… you said you won’t hurt me. Maybe it’s risky, probably it’s not my most logical move, but… I trust you.”

Handong feels tears pricking at her eyes again. This person, this beautiful, incredibly endearing person, trusts her. This kind soul who only hours ago was nothing more than prey to Handong, a meal to be consumed and discarded… trusts her. She blinks rapidly before she starts crying for real again.

“Okay.” Handong whispers.

Sua tilts her head, baring her neck to Handong, and the vampire feels her thirst swell even more as the scent hits her full force. But she still stops herself partway into her approach, making eye contact with Sua once again. 

“This will sting, but only for a bit. Then the venom will set in. Are you-... are you still sure you-...?”

Sua squeezes her arm. “I’m sure. I know you need this. You can’t help it.”

Handong exhales sharply. Another sucker punch to her gut and the guilt still churning inside it. She doesn’t deserve someone to be so understanding of her.

Regardless, she leans in. Pauses one last time to settle herself, and bites down. Sua stiffens, gasping at the sharp pinch and tightening her grip on Handong’s arms. Handong apologizes and retreats slightly, to let the venom spread.

The effects show up quickly, Sua relaxing significantly as it races through her body. She lets out a soft “oh… so that’s… woah…” as the calm feeling washes over her and her eyelids droop slightly. Seeing this, Handong returns to the bite and drinks.

Vampires know instinctively when the point of no return is approaching as they’re feeding, and Handong is no different, having felt it many times… before she blew right past it. This time she’s hyperaware, stopping safely well before that point. Gently, she closes the wound with her tongue and pulls back to watch Sua’s face. 

She’s still in that calm state induced by the venom, but she does quickly register that Handong’s finished. Satisfied, Handong lays back down next to her, using the welcome space between them to try to center herself again.

Sua groggily asks how long she’ll be like this, and Handong reassures her that it won’t be long at all. She’ll be back up and able to make it home safely in a little bit. Thinking back on the times Gahyeon has taught her about how to do this (times that she’s suddenly very grateful for, despite thinking at the time she’d never need the tips), Handong makes sure to urge Sua to take it easy for a couple days and drink lots of water.

Handong barely has her chance to take advantage of the space to clear her head before Sua closes it again, rolling to her and draping herself over the vampire. Handong stiffens at the contact, the way Sua so easily nestles up to her and sighs contently. She quickly succumbs to it though, the lure of the warm comforting feeling Sua just seems to radiate to anyone around her far too strong to resist. In turn, she wraps her arm around the smaller woman as well.

They stay that way as the venom’s effects fade, until Sua feels herself enough to make the trek back into town. Neither sure what to say after everything that’s happened, they linger at the bottom of the hill before going their separate ways. 

Handong decides on a quiet but sincere “thank you.” She only hopes Sua can sense that she means it, and for so much more than just what happened on the hill. 

Sua, once again the bolder one, surprises Handong with a quick kiss on her cheek, She smiles and bolts before Handong can even process it, much less react. 

All the vampire knows at this point is one thing. Regardless of if she ever sees that woman again… her life will never be the same.

\----- Back To Present -----

“You let her go,” Gahyeon repeats, not sure at first what Handong means. “Wait, the new moon is your-... you let a human go? Did you feed?”

Handong nods, still staring blankly out the window.

“So you…”

“I did. I asked, and she let me.”

Handong can tell the  _ “I told you so, I told you to do it my way” _ is right on the tip of Gahyeon’s tongue, only barely held back by Gahyeon’s sheer willpower. The older woman appreciates it. She’s sure Gahyeon will gloat later, and rightfully so, but for now Handong’s mind is in enough turmoil without anything like that potentially making her feel defensive.

“Why?”

Handong balks at that. A great question, but one she’s not sure she’s ready to answer. “She was cute. And really sweet.” She pauses, noticing the way Gahyeon’s eyebrow quirks.  _ “Nice, _ I mean. Though, also sweet, I suppose.” 

Gahyeon's stare pierces into her as the younger vampire considers her words. “That didn’t stop you before.”

She’s right. Handong’s never really put too much thought into whether humans were good or bad, nice or mean. She’d always been taught that they were all the same to them anyways, so why even consider it. Someone being nice to her for a little bit was never enough to even faze her, much less make her reconsider everything. 

But Handong isn’t ready to talk through all of that. She isn’t even really sure what exactly it was about Sua that broke through her worldview. Gahyeon seems to pick up on that and lets her be.

“So…” Gahyeon starts, a bit hesitant still, but Handong can feel the relief in her voice. “Does this mean you’re ready to come with me now?”

Handong takes a deep breath. She thinks about her life, everything that’s led up to this point. The way her whole family, her whole kingdom operates. All the traditions, rituals, beliefs, everything she’s known her entire existence, and how it’s all been thrown into disarray. 

She knows it’s too late to go back. 

Finally, she turns to make eye contact with Gahyeon. 

“Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaAAAAAHHH WOW holy hyoyeon that was... dskjsdkj writing that was like trying to pull a healthy tooth with a pair of chopsticks istg
> 
> hopefully it turned out alright tho, or that you at least still get some enjoyment out of it <3  
> oh and i guess bonus points to anyone who can figure out what bora's deal is - if i use sua it's almost always for a reason hehe.. what was she up to if she didn't know what dongie was at first *thinking face*
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	6. day 5 "unacceptable, try again"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bora’s teasing backfires and maybe this time, she’s okay with letting go of the reins.

“Unacceptable, try again.”

Bora grins at the little huff Handong lets out in response, clearly flustered by Bora’s line. Probably not the line she expected after their long-anticipated first kiss. Don’t get her wrong - inside, Bora is giddy like a little kid who finally got the ice cream they’d been begging for.

Because that might as well have been what she was doing. She and Handong had been dancing around each other for  _ months _ now. Handong either too oblivious or shy to get the many,  _ many _ hints Bora left for her to follow. And Bora too proud to just bite the bullet and spell it out for the younger woman. She’d done a lot of good work, trying to clue Handong in on her feelings in various ways, the least the other woman could do was make a move!

Now that today, Handong finally took the hint and confessed in the most adorable way - all shy smiles and downcast eyes as she stumbled over the words in her haste to get them out before her confidence left her - well, Bora wants to savor it. She worked hard to get this moment. To get to stand here, looking up as she waits for the woman she’s been falling for to take the initiative and start their new path together. 

So yes, inside, Bora is happier than Minji with a macaron, overjoyed merely that this is finally happening. Outside? Well, she can’t miss an opportunity when it presents itself. She  _ thrives _ on Handong’s absolutely adorable shyness. This woman will match her strangest antics any day, but time for some ~feelings~ talk with Bora? Mm, Bora could just eat her up with how cute and shy she gets. 

Bora leans up, sliding her hands along Handong’s arms as she does so, until their noses almost touch. She relishes the slight shiver she feels run through Handong’s body. 

“Come on, I’ll give you another chance.” Bora whispers, their lips just barely brushing. She drops her heels back down so there’s a little bit of distance between their faces again. “Show me what you’ve  _ really _ got.”

Handong pouts at the distance, before biting her lip nervously.

Oh, Bora is going to  _ love _ teasing the shit out of her every chance she-

Something shifts in Handong’s gaze, her stare back on Bora’s lips. It definitely derails the train of thought that had been moving in her brain, but before Bora can even think about getting another one going - much less register what exactly that shift in Handong’s expression was - the younger woman’s lips are on hers again and oh-

_ Oh. _

This is  _ not _ what Bora was expecting from the shy younger woman that was confessing to her only moments before. This… this…  _ seductress _ in her place kisses her with a fire she’s not at all prepared for. Their lips dance together and it’s all Bora can do just to  _ keep up, _ much less take back the upper hand she’d so effortlessly held up until now.

A rogue thought crosses Bora’s mind that yes, apparently she had severely underestimated this woman. But it too is lost quickly - completely blown away, in fact - by the impact of her back against the wall. 

Honestly, she can’t even be mad about losing the control she was so certain she had.

Not when losing feels like  _ this. _

When they finally break away for air, Bora gasps, overwhelmed. While Handong merely smirks, a proud glint in her eye. 

“Better?” Handong asks, tilting her head a little as if that could even begin to restore her innocent image in Bora’s perception. The shorter woman feels some of her bravado start to return as she wants nothing more than to wipe that smug little smirk right off her face, as she has so many times before with others that tried to take the reins.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, as she’s beginning to realize), her brain fails to fully catch up in time. In her defense, she’s still reeling from the attack. How was she supposed to know what the shy younger woman had been hiding this whole time? 

A very flustered “huh?” ends up being all she can muster.

Handong laughs, a bright and joyful sound that almost sounds out of place in the context of what just happened… and especially what happens next.

Easily taking advantage of Bora’s subdued state, Handong pins her hands above her head, holding them against the wall with one hand on her wrists. The light kisses Handong trails up the shorter woman’s neck feel… foreboding in their gentleness, now that Bora has tasted what the other woman is capable of. 

Bora feels she’s proven right when Handong reaches her destination and whispers in her ear.

“Don’t worry, honey… your face says it all.”

Bora’s breath hitches, her whole body tensing in anticipation. 

Handong pulls back to admire the older woman’s expression one more time before closing right back in, like ocean waves pulling in and out - their relentless nature offering only a brief reprieve before crashing down again and again. Powerful, relentless, and yet, comforting.

Bora’s last coherent thought is a simple one.  _ Just what have I gotten myself into? _

And then lips reconnect and Bora lets herself fall into the churning sea that is Handong, as warmth engulfs her and she drifts away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one really just… flowed. as soon as the idea formed in my head. sumn about confident bora getting super flustered by a not-so-shy-anymore dongie i guess haha
> 
> also hey look i finally learned how to write something less than 3k for this, what is this.. this.. extra time? nope never heard of it xD
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	7. day 6 "that was impressive"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yet another one of Bora’s (admittedly silly) attempts to gain the attention of her crush goes wrong… until it doesn’t.

_ Thump. _

Bora hisses, trying desperately to contain the scream that almost tears through her throat. Luckily it works, but  _ wow, _ that hurts. She leans the rest of the way back, now laying down on the ground where she’d fallen flat on her ass, her hands gripping her throbbing ankle. 

_ Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. _

She just had to try another one of her dumb gimmicks, didn’t she? Bora should’ve known better, that eventually one of these would end poorly. But in her defense, she’d had that flip  _ down _ yesterday. She landed like four in a row! She thought she was ready!

Her breathing increases, coming in sharp gasps as she holds back all the cuss words she actually wants to be saying right now. Sitting back up, she examines the ankle that all of the shooting pains are coming from. It’s already starting to swell up. 

She allows herself one cuss word. Bora thinks she deserves that much.

“Okay, now  _ that…" _

Bora’s heart sinks even further at the sound of  _ that _ voice. As if this could get any worse.

“...-that was impressive.” 

Bora looks up, knowing where this is going but (perhaps dumbly) still holding onto hope it won’t go that way, and will instead be positive. 

She hesitantly makes eye contact with her long-time crush, and when Handong continues it only confirms exactly what Bora had thought would happen.

“I mean, I didn’t think it would end  _ well, _ but that landing? That  _ really _ didn’t go your way this time.” Handong laughs good-naturedly, as if it’s all just gentle ribbing between friends. 

And maybe it is, or, it would be. But it’s the final straw on the back of Bora’s many failed attempts to get the kind of attention she craves from the younger woman, today’s extra spectacular failure only the most recent one (and the first to end in legitimate injury). 

Bora sinks in on herself. The tears that had started forming from the pain finally spill over at the extra push from the humiliation. She brings her knees up to try to hide her face in them, but it’s too late to keep Handong from noticing.

The younger woman’s entire demeanor shifts as she realizes the severity of today’s stunt. “Oh my god, did you really hurt yourself this time?” She drops to her knees next to Bora. “I’m sorry. Here, let me see.”

“I’m fine.” Bora says, the sound muffled behind her legs and entirely unconvincing. She tries to push Handong away. It hurts, and she could use some help, but at this point she’d rather sulk in peace.

“No, you’re not,” Handong says softly. She shifts closer, gently pulling Bora’s hands off her injured ankle to take a look. “I knew one of these times, your little acts would go badly. The things you do to make your friends laugh amaze me, honestly.”

Bora can hear the little smile in Handong’s voice. Admittedly, even that is enough to stir up the butterflies in her stomach. But it’s what she said that really caught her attention. What does she mean by that?

At Bora’s look of confusion, Handong has another sudden realization and looks around. “Actually, where  _ are _ your friends?”

Bora shrugs, shoulders slumping again just a little. She looks to the side. “I don’t know. I figure they finally got sick of watching me make a fool of myself with no results.”

This time it’s Handong’s turn for a confused look. “What do you mean? Then why do…” she gestures vaguely at Bora, at a loss for what to call her antics. “...this? I always thought it was just messing around to make them laugh?”

“What?” Bora can’t believe it. All this time and her target audience just thought it was for  _ Siyeon and Yoohyeon? _ “No! That was-... I-... I was trying to impress  _ you!” _

Bora’s eyes widen as she realizes what she’s just admitted to. Handong’s jaw drops open a little, clearly caught off guard, and suddenly Bora wants to sink into a hole and disappear even more than she did a few minutes ago. Which, if you’d have asked her then, she wouldn’t have even thought possible.

“You wanted to impress  _ me?” _

Bora sputters as she tries to backtrack. “No. I mean, no I was just, just…” she trails off helplessly, looking anywhere but at the younger woman. 

Handong’s grin only grows and grows the longer the shorter woman struggles for words. “You know, you didn’t need all that.”

Turning back to her, Bora’s sure the question is clear on her face.

Handong smiles warmly. “You already impress me.”

“I-... do?”

“Of course. I’ve always admired your energy, how free you seem no matter where you go. Whenever I see you out with your friends on campus, you’re impossible to miss.” 

Letting out a soft “oh,” Bora blushes, speechless.  _ Again. _ This doesn’t happen often to her. Damn Handong and Bora’s unbelievably large soft spot for her. 

Another grin forms on Handong’s face, clearly enjoying the effect she’s so suddenly discovered she has on the confident older woman. “Well, if you’ve been trying so hard to impress me for so long, there must be a reason for it?” She raises her eyebrows expectantly.

Bora blanches at the whole turn of events of today. This is not at all how she imagined her approach would be all the times she’s attempted this. 

“Oh!, Uh, yes. Definitely. Um…” She looks away again, needing a moment to  _ breathe _ away from Handong’s eager and teasing expression.

Inhaling deeply, Bora fills her lungs with the last shreds of confidence still left in her. It’s not much, but it’s better, and she faces Handong again with a bit more certainty. “There’s a musical in town, next weekend. A traveling troupe coming through. I was hoping I could… take you to see it?”

Handong giggles a bit, some of her shyness finally coming back. It offers Bora at least some reassurance - at least she was able to get back on her game a  _ little _ bit. At this point she’ll take any win she can get so that she’s not the only one flustered.

“I love musicals!” 

Not thinking before she speaks, Bora says, “I know.”

At Handong’s look, suddenly Bora’s sputtering again. “I mean, I just-... you mentioned it during that project we did together for our music theory class, so I thought-...” she trails off,  _ again, _ at the soft look on Handong’s face.

“Wow, that was…” Handong pauses, thinking. “That was months ago now, wasn’t it?”

Bora feels embarrassed again, but takes comfort in the face that the warm smile has yet to leave Handong’s lips.

“Yeah it… stuck with me, I guess.”

“You’re adorable.”

“I- what?” Bora’s brain stutters to a stop and Handong laughs at the way she just completely stops functioning. “Uh, thank you? But you just- you didn’t-”

Handong giggles again, mercifully ending Bora’s poor attempts at full sentences. She shakes her head fondly. “Absolutely adorable.”

The younger woman stands up, brushing off her pants. “Relax. I’d love to go to the musical with you.”

Bora feels the grin spread endlessly across her face and only hopes she doesn’t look like Pennywise or something with the way it seems to threaten to burst right through her cheeks.

“Really?”

The cute little smile Bora’s caught herself daydreaming about before rests easily on Handong’s lips “Really. But not on  _ that _ foot.” She offers the shorter woman a hand, helping Bora up and letting her lean on her to walk. “First let’s get you to the student health center. We can work out the details once that ankle’s taken care of.”

Bora can’t wait to tell her friends that her genius plan finally worked.

(Just... nobody tell them that it wasn't _really_ her plan at all).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much to say today, but thank you all so much for the support and lovely comments i've received so far already. i can tell it'll be a struggle to keep up this pace while still trying to do my ideas justice as the month goes on, and knowing at least a few of y'all are out there reading... it's really appreciated <3
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	8. day 7 "yes i did, what about it?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why don’t the knights ever consider that maybe… some princesses don’t want to be rescued?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t worry i won’t leave you alone with sir henry for too long i promise

Sir Henry thinks that his day is going _far_ too easily. 

He’d come prepared. There were scores of stories about others who’d attempted the task he was currently undertaking. None had succeeded. Most made it back, but with new scars on their bodies, damaged armor, and with tales of a fierce dragon guardian that no one could best. Sir Henry was ready for a fight that many had lost. The potential reward was too great to pass up the opportunity. 

Now, however, he feels wary as he wanders the empty halls of the castle. The ride here had been long but remarkably uneventful, and as he approached the castle, it held no signs of life besides a faint light from the tower. No sign of any guardians, much less a dragon so fearsome that only the bravest knights in the land dared attempt the quest he had undertaken. 

Never one to turn down good fortune when it happened though, Sir Henry forges onwards as he searches for the way up to the princess’ tower. Stories and songs had been written on the beauty and grace of the princess locked away in this castle. The knight is eager to witness it for himself and the excitement pushes caution from his mind when he finds the stairway to the tower. 

It’s a long climb, and his breath comes in huffs by the time he reaches the top. He takes a few moments to compose himself. This is it.

Sir Henry knocks on the door. 

It opens moments later, revealing the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. It’s easy for him to see how so many songs had been written about her, despite few people ever having actually seen her in person. 

Coming to his senses, he drops to a knee and bows his head. “Princess Han.”

\-----

Now, Sir Henry is _certain_ his day is going far too easily. 

Again, don’t get him wrong, he’s never been one to turn down good luck when it’s given. 

But this is just downright strange.

The princess had been all smiles, telling him to rise and getting straight to the point, asking him if he was there to rescue her. After his confirmation, she’d merely told him to lead the way, and they’d proceeded to just… walk right out of the castle. 

They’d mounted his horse and left, with nary a peep out of so much as a bird, much less a terrifying dragon. All this mental preparation, all his apprehension about attempting this quest… nothing. The blood red beast and its scorching blue flames nowhere to be found.

Even if he couldn’t have hoped to defeat it, he’d expected to at least have to outrun it. Perhaps best it with some clever trick to evade it. 

Nevertheless, he certainly can’t complain about his job being too _easy._ Instead the knight focuses on the nice feeling of the princess gripping his armor from behind as they ride. 

\-----

It’s already close to nightfall when Sir Henry decides they should have enough distance between them and the castle to set up camp. 

With a fire going, and himself and the princess both settled in comfortably beside it, the knight finally allows himself to relax. He did it. He, Sir Henry, actually rescued Princess Han. The princess thought by many to be unrescuable. 

Grinning, he watches the princess as she warms her hands by the fire. Marvels at the way her skin glows with the oranges just beginning to spread across the sky as the sun sets.

His return will be a triumphant one, indeed. Just imagining the awed looks he’ll receive from everyone back home _(everyone,_ because everyone from peasants to royals has heard the stories of Princess Han) fills him with confidence and pride. He’ll never have to struggle to earn respect again, not with this beautiful woman on his arm.

“So, princess,” he starts, “how does it feel to finally be free?”

The princess giggles a bit at his question. She must be so relieved, he thinks. His lips quirk up as well with the obvious excitement she’s showing.

“It’s… different.” She acknowledges. Before he can press any further though, she continues. “How about you? How does it feel to finally have conquered the beast so many others could not?” She leans forward a little, batting her eyes and gesturing to herself. “To claim the _prize_ that’s evaded so many?”

The knight balks, surprised by her forwardness. More so, however, suddenly a bit sheepish. How does he admit to… not… accomplishing that first point at all. “Well…” He rubs the back of his neck, considering his words.

The princess seems to see right through him, not giving him time to put together his response. “You… _did_ slay the dragon, did you not?” She leans back, taking in his silence. “I did think it seemed a bit… quiet, before you made your way up my tower.”

He sputters. “Well, no, but-” The shocked look on the Princess’ face makes him defensive. “Well it never showed up! We made it out just fine so I figured-”

The princess cuts him off sharply. “And you didn’t think to look for the dragon? What, you think that after all the other knights driven off that this time the dragon just decided not to bother?”

“No!” Sir Henry runs his hand through his hair. “I mean, maybe? I thought why question good luck, it’s not like the thing will follow us all the way out-”

He’s cut off again, but this time by a cacophony of noises, leaves rustling and branches snapping and wind churning all mixing together in an orchestra of warning as he jumps to his feet and turns towards it in horror.

Just in time to see the tower of blue flame shoot past the treetops, a large creature emerging from the forest almost as if it materializes out of thin air. His stomach drops as he takes in the color of the dragon’s shimmering scales.

Blood red.

"Princess! Run!"

Sir Henry sees the woman take off for the tree line in the other direction. Satisfied she's listened, he draws his sword and goes further out into the open, hoping to draw the creature's attention.

It works. Sir Henry just isn't so sure that's a good thing.

The dragon lands, just far enough away that the knight is out of reach of its various limbs. The impact with the ground is so strong it feels like the entire world shakes beneath Sir Henry's feet.

Nor does he get time to recover. He doesn't even manage to properly regain his footing before he's again thrown off kilter by the loudest noise he's ever heard.

The dragon's roar is deafening. With no other choice, Sir Henry falls to his knees as he clutches his ears, desperate for any protection from the sound.

He stares up at the creature, just waiting for the battering to end.

It really is an impressive sight, he has to admit. The dragon's iridescent scales glimmer in the fading sun, shining different shades of red depending on how they catch the light. Its long neck points skyward as the roar pours from it, its wings spread outward to their full wingspan.

Sir Henry wouldn’t exactly consider himself a small guy, but the size of this thing? He’s not sure he would even qualify as bite size for the dragon.

Mercifully, the roaring finally stops. He climbs to his feet, as quickly as he can, but silently curses himself at how slow he moves and how out of breath he already feels. The shock of being snuck up on, the sheer intimidation of facing down a beast like this one… it leaves him unsteady. Unsteady, off balance, and at even more of a disadvantage than he already would’ve been. And nothing that could be called a fight has even started yet.

Regardless, he is still a knight. He has a princess to protect, even if all he can do is give her the time to make it safely to the trees and hope she has a chance on her own from there. Squaring his shoulders, he settles into the best fighting stance he can manage.

He and the dragon regard each other. Before he can second guess himself, he charges. 

He doesn't even see the dragon move. One moment he’s yelling, running ahead, hoping to land a hit on _something_ with his sword and if nothing else buy some time. The next he’s airborne, sent flying by an impact against his entire flank.

For a longer time than seems possible, the world spins around him, before he crashes into the ground. Hard. Clumps of grass and dirt ripped up and thrown about him as his body tumbles to an unceremonious stop.

Sir Henry groans as he attempts to sit up. He really regrets having taken off some of his heavy armor when he set up camp. He’s only barely managed to lift his head when he’s pinned to the ground by the dragon’s massive paw, claws extended around him like the bars of a dungeon cell.

The beast’s head hovers above him, allowing him his first good look at it. It regards him coldly, with an intelligence that makes his fear spike even more than it already has. Its piercing, violet eyes seem to glow with their own fire from within. It rears its head back and he braces himself, expecting the worst. Instead of frying him to a crisp right there on the spot though, it snorts and smoke billows from its nostrils, engulfing him

A warning, a threat.

Princess Han screams, and both he and the dragon suddenly turn away from their staredown towards the sound. She bolts from where she’d apparently been hiding behind some large rock, running away along the treeline. Sir Henry curses, his arm reaching out automatically towards the charge he couldn’t protect. “No… princess…”

As if further igniting its anger by reminding it of his presence, the dragon whirls on him once more. The beast’s violet eyes seem to glow even brighter now, the fire within them gathering into a swirling inferno. 

The heavy paw holding him down retreats, but he isn’t given much reprieve. The dragon’s head comes close and lets loose another thunderous roar. Sir Henry curls up, trying to protect himself but left with nothing to do so besides his own limbs. 

Thankfully, this bellow is short, and the noise stops quickly.

Only to be replaced with fire.

Bright blue fills his vision even behind his closed eyelids as heat pours over him. He can feel the jet of flame shoot past him, aimed just high enough above where he lay that he doesn’t actually catch on fire, but still much too close. The smell of singed leather and burning hair fills his nose. Left with nothing else, he screams.

The heat finally stops. A gust of wind around him gives him hope that the dragon has spared him, instead taking off to return to its nest at the castle. He only manages to crack open his eyes to check when another scream from the princess makes his heart sink.

Frozen with fear, he can only watch as the princess is effortlessly scooped up by the dragon. It takes off, flying back towards the castle. The bright red scales serving as a beacon for his eyes to follow his failure as it disappears into the beginnings of nightfall. The princess’ screams steadily fading into the distance.

It isn’t until long after they’re gone, that he manages to uncurl himself, laying flat on the ground. His ever loyal horse returns to him, poking at him with its muzzle. With effort, he pats the animal affectionately. 

“Don’t worry boy, we _won’t_ be trying that quest again.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Handong stretches, groaning in satisfaction as her muscles relax back into place after the long day. She enjoys these little outings, but they take their toll. Especially when she has to play the role of meek, starstruck little princess for as long as she did today. Returning to the comfort of her tower at the end is always a relief. 

The only thing that would make it better would be if a certain _someone_ would hurry up and join her. She knows they usually need the extra attention whenever Handong “gets rescued,” so it’s a bit strange to her that they haven’t arrived yet. 

As if summoned by her thoughts, the door opens and a smile automatically forms on Handong’s face at the sight of the smaller figure entering the room carrying an armful of food for her. Here Handong was pouting about them taking so long, and really they were making sure she got a good dinner tonight.

“There you are, did you miss me?” Handong calls out, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.

Bora doesn’t go along with it at all, Handong’s mood sliding right off of them. Instead, they pointedly keep their gaze away from Handong, focusing on laying out the food for them to prepare later. A couple moments of tense silence pass before they say anything back.

“You need to get cleaned up, those clothes are filthy.”

The icy tone stings. Handong’s face falls a bit, her eyebrows furrowing. Bora may not like these… “trips” Handong goes on from time to time as much as the princess does, but they usually enjoy it well enough. They’re less eager, but still content to join in on making fun of the various men who attempt the quest. 

Not sure what to make of it, Handong attempts to salvage the playful mood she was in before. “Yeah they are. It was a long one today, I think I _really_ had him going this time. Poor guy thought he was completely in the clear and had me wrapped around his finger.”

The knife Bora’s been using to chop vegetables slams extra hard as they cut through a potato, the loud bang filling the room after Handong’s words. 

"Yeah,” Bora starts, seemingly taking great effort to start calmly slicing again. “You had quite the adventure today, didn't you. Did you have fun gallivanting around with that… _jester_ in a metal suit?"

Oh. 

Is Bora… jealous? It’s hard for Handong to believe. Rarely if ever does Bora get upset after a knight shows up, and almost never is it directed at the princess herself.

Handong hums, sliding up behind the smaller figure to wrap her arms around them. They tense a little, but they’ve never been able to resist the younger woman for long. It only takes another moment before Bora relaxes back into the embrace. They still try to keep up the cold front though - Bora’s nothing if not stubborn when they want to be - but Handong knows she’s already won the first battle. 

“You know that’s not the fun part for me, Bora.” 

They huff, and a little smoke comes out their nose. Handong has to swallow down the little laugh that threatens to break out. She both loves and hates that Bora does that. She knows they can’t help it, and that’s exactly the problem, honestly. Handong loves it because it’s so dang cute, and hates it simply because it can make it so hard to take them seriously when they’re trying to be grumpy. 

“No, the fun part is when my brave, scary dragon shows up to save the day.”

Bora relaxes a little further, and Handong mentally cheers. Baby steps. 

She gives Bora a playful squeeze. “You really scared the shit out of this one, huh?”

They tense up again and squirm out of Handong’s arms.

“Yes I did, and what about it?” They say, that cold tone back, though less harsh than when they first walked in. Bora starts pumping water up for a bath, and Handong’s heart warms despite the bad mood. Even when upset, Bora is still taking care of her exactly as they normally would. 

Deciding this dancing around will get both of them nowhere, Handong figures it’s time to just address it directly. Bora’s always done best with blunt, straightforward exchanges anyways. 

“Bora.” They stay focused on the bath. Handong takes a deep breath. “Bora, are you… jealous?” 

They huff again, more smoke billowing around them. 

“Bora, look at me. Please.” 

Finally, they do. Bora stands and faces her, their brilliant violet eyes meeting Handong’s head on. It takes Handong’s breath away. Bora’s eyes are always striking, the fire within them never going out, but now it burns brighter than Handong’s ever seen when they aren’t in their dragon form.

The flames churn angrily, somehow both displaying and hiding Bora’s emotions within. While Handong can see them all in there, agitating the blaze, it’s impossible to parse out and decipher any individual one.

They grit their teeth, offended. “I’m not _jealous.”_

She’s not out of the woods yet, but the princess allows herself to feel the relief that statement brings her. It didn’t fully dawn on her at first, but the implications of Bora being jealous are ones that concern her. The idea that Bora perhaps didn’t trust her alone with someone else, or that Bora could even think that Handong might actually like one of the knights enough to choose him over Bora… it hurts. Handong is definitely relieved that Bora wouldn’t think that way.

They’ve been each other’s rock for way too long now for Handong’s heart to be able to handle any sort of trust concerns between them. She doesn’t know what she would do without Bora and their undying love and loyalty at her side. 

“Then what’s wrong?” Handong can already see Bora closing up again. “Please, Bora. Talk to me.”

Their eyes flare, and Bora lets it out. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong is _this,_ Handong. This…” They pause, gesturing around as they figure out how to express themselves. “This… disregard. I like messing with these idiots too, but this is too much. Haven’t you considered what could happen if one of these stunts goes wrong? If you actually… if _he_ managed to…”

Handong springs forward as she sees the dragon’s anger build. A few red scales pop into existence on Bora’s arms, showing just how agitated they are as their dragon form threatens to emerge. The princess gathers them up into her arms again, running her hands soothingly along their arms and back. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here, Bora. I’m here.”

Regret and heartache rolls through Handong like a candle suddenly being blown out. Letting the knights take her away… it’s always just been a fun game to her. She enjoys getting the men’s hopes up, only to dash them away soon after. To her it’s always just been the least she could do in return for all their pomp about coming to “rescue her” only for the sake of what they actually want - claiming her as their own as if she were merely a trophy to be won. 

She’s known that it’s not Bora’s favorite thing, but she figured they were fine with it. After all, Bora would have to be going along with it for Handong to ever actually make it off the castle grounds with the knights. As much as Bora would prefer to do it up front, dealing with the knights before they ever even make it up to Handong, the dragon does still enjoy taking the men’s egos down several pegs.

Handong squeezes Bora tighter. “They won’t actually take me away, Bora. You always have and always will make sure of that. I _know_ you will.”

Bora pulls away abruptly. “But that’s exactly it! What if one time I can’t? This-... Messing with the knights is one thing. But lately you’ve been insisting on taking it farther and farther and what if I can’t keep up?”

“Bora, you-”

“I _almost lost_ your scent today.”

Handong freezes. “What?”

Bora nods, crossing their arms. “Yeah. You wanted to get off the castle grounds, let him get far enough away to make camp and feel safe. Well, it’s all open for quite a ways once you’re off the grounds. I had to wait if I wanted to follow without being seen, and constantly shift to this form to check the trail discreetly, not to mention to sneak up on you once I did find the camp.”

“Can you imagine how terrified I was, while I couldn’t find it? What was going through my mind, while you were off on some joyride with that guy, just to get some kicks out of teasing him for a bit?”

Bora leans in, still maintaining that intense eye contact, a challenge in her gaze. 

Handong just feels sad. She’d never really thought ahead when it came to this stuff. Or considered how different it must feel being the one who has to come get her back, rather than the one who gets to just wait for a pickup.

Tears prick at her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Bora’s expression softens immediately. The fire in their eyes settles down, violet flames now more of a gentle flicker than a swirling inferno. It’s the soft and gentle warmth of a hearth, the way Bora’s eyes usually burn. Looking into them gives Handong that familiar feeling of home that only Bora can give her, and she knows everything will be alright.

Bora pulls her into a hug, and Handong gratefully melts into it. “Hey…” they start, now Bora’s turn to soothe the princess with a hand softly rubbing circles on her back. “I don’t mean to make you upset or anything, I just…” Handong feels the way Bora breathes deep to gather themself. “I just don’t want to do this anymore. Not like this. Not this far away.”

Handong nods into Bora’s neck. “Okay. I’m sorry, I never realized…”

Bora shushes her, squeezing her in reassurance. “It’s okay. Just… no more letting them take you off the grounds. How’s that? After all, if you ever want to go beyond those all you have to do is ask me, you know that.”

Memories of all the times Bora’s let her clamber on their back - the thrill of the wind rushing by as they fly together and explore the land all around the castle and beyond - all flood Handong’s mind and she smiles. Why would she ever want to trade that for a horseback ride with some other guy that just sees her as a status symbol? A social ladder to climb?

Bora’s been with her since the start, both growing up together in the isolation of this castle. Both cast away by their families - Handong left to be a prize by a king and queen that didn’t want to deal with her, Bora left to be a guardian as a payment of a debt owed by their parents. The dragon could’ve easily stayed true to their duty, falling into the role of fearsome guardian and leaving Handong to stew in her loneliness. 

But instead they’d fallen into each other, a young Handong curious to know more about the creature that stayed with her. And the creature curious enough in return to show the princess their other form. 

(Handong still remembers the way her child self had hugged the confused young dragon, asking what their name was and if they were a boy or a girl dragon. Not used to such friendliness (or forwardness, for that matter) from humans, the dragon had shifted to their human form to answer, well and truly shocking the young princess. Bora’s response of “what’s a ‘boy’ or a ‘girl?’ I’m… a dragon” had rattled Handong’s mind at first, but she’d quickly moved on when Bora told her their name and she fell in love with how well it suited their beautiful violet eyes. Their friendship only grew and grew into more from there.)

Bora really had been the best companion Handong could ever ask for, and had never wavered once in all their years together since they were children.

All this swirls in Handong’s mind and she wants nothing more than to vocalize it all, to share with Bora just how much they mean to her. She isn’t sure how to do it though, and the best her brain manages to put together is short and simple.

“I love you.” 

And maybe it’s enough, because Handong doesn’t need to see Bora’s reaction. Face still buried in the shapeshifter’s neck, she can _feel_ the way Bora lights up at those words. 

Bora pulls away slightly, lifting Handong’s chin with their hand to place a chaste kiss on her lips, easily conveying more meaning with that familiar action than words ever could. They both let the moment sit, returning to their embrace. Time stops for a little while as they take each other in, warmth and comfort and _love_ passing back and forth between them as easily as the air they breathe.

The dragon is the one to finally break the moment, their easy smile returning. After the icy demeanor of when they’d first entered the room tonight, seeing it is enough to make Handong’s heart soar once again. 

Smoke erupts from their nose, a hint of blue flame licking at their lips as they grin mischievously. 

“Alright princess, let me get that bath warmed up for us. I really did mean it when I said you’re filthy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop did i just write nb bora? hehe friendly reminder that nb people can present any way they like and it doesn’t make them any less valid ^^ (also you don’t have to be a dragon to be nb sdksdk i just thought it worked nicely here lmao)
> 
> this one was another that took a lot of effort to force out even tho i was rly hyped about the idea, hopefully it doesn't feel like it ended too abruptly or anything sdkjd i tried lmao. yeah tho.. sumn about bora as a ruby red dragon with purple eyes (or vice versa tbh, i considered the reverse as well).. kinda love the image. also massive dragon bora but then their human form being smol.. cute xD anyways 
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	9. day 8 "i'm not doing that again"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some alcohol brings out a question Handong hadn't really thought about before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! im back, had to take a couple days off to deal with some irl stuff (and get some sleep sdkdsj) but here i am. it's my night off now tho so im working to catch back up. not gonna guarantee i won't fall behind again but rest assured i do intend to finish this project regardless ^^ 
> 
> edit 201012: definitely thought i'd have this up within the day when i made this placeholder, but originally i had a completely different idea (angsty too, so maybe some of y'all dodged a bullet for now lol). problem was about halfway through i didn't like the style i'd written so i had to scrap it and just now finally threw something else together for the prompt. hopefully y'all still enjoy it even if it's just a little <3

The two friends stumble through the door, barely making it past the entryway before Bora collapses on the carpet in a fit of giggles.

“Wow, this is kinda great but I’m not doing that again.”

Handong eyes her, skeptical. She’s still standing, also affected but definitely the more put-together of the two at the moment. “And why don’t I believe that for a second?”

Bora just giggles again. “Okay, sure, it’s fun. But I’m gonna-” she hiccups, the sudden action throwing her completely off for a moment. When she continues it’s with an even more noticeable slur to her words. “Wow. I’m gonna be a loooot pickier next time.”

Handong rolls her eyes, but can’t help the small smile in response. It’s not like this surprises her at all. Several hundred years with someone tends to make one used to their nonsense. “I  _ told _ you not to go for the big guy, even if he wasn’t as drunk as he was. Even just a buzz for that giant would’ve sent you sky high.”

“But it was so easy! I didn’t even have to try to get him alone he was just like ‘alright cool’ and he smelled kinda nice so I thought ‘hey why not’ and it’s been  _ so _ long since we drank from drunk people so-” 

Plopping down on the floor next to the smaller woman, Handong cuts her off with a hand over her mouth. It doesn’t stop her, the sound merely muffled as Handong feels the need to roll her eyes again. “Hey, slow down. Remember to breathe. Can’t believe after this long it still surprises me just how much you can talk.”

Bora glares at the taller woman, eyes narrowing over the top of Handong’s hand. Handong just shrugs her shoulders innocently. 

“Hey, I’m just saying, there were plenty of other people there that were more than willing. Mine, oh what was her name? Rochelle? Rachel? She was nice,  _ and _ she had a friend who’d had her eye on you all night. But no, you had to go for the absolute  _ keg _ of alcohol that was that big guy.”

A tongue licks a thick stripe along Handong’s palm, and she pulls it away from Bora in disgust. “Really?”

Another giggle. So this is what this much alcohol does to Bora. It’s been a long time since Handong’s seen her like this.

Bora grins, proud of her little stunt to get her mouth free. “I don’t need to breathe, why would I stop talking?” 

\-----

They don’t move from that spot for a while, Bora content to just lay on the carpet and Handong happy to keep her company. It’s always been like this, really. It’s how they’ve lasted so long and stayed as close as they have.

Their dynamic is… unassuming. A lot of it unspoken. Several hundred years of wars between species and civil rights movements have taken their toll on them, just like the rest of their kind, but Handong always knew that throughout it all Bora would be at her side and everything would be okay.

And it shows here as well, in little moments like this. Handong is always happy to tease Bora and scold her for her antics, but she also always stays with her, obviously not actually bothered enough to leave. 

Considering the amount of alcohol Bora likely consumed from that one guy’s blood, Handong’s not surprised at all to see how long her drunkenness lasts. The taller woman just sits with her and lets her ride it out, listening to her babble on about everything and nothing, while letting her own high fade down to a light buzz. 

When it goes silent for a bit, Handong thinks she might be clear to put Bora to bed, but is surprised by the sudden seriousness in the smaller woman’s tone.

“Dongie, do you ever miss mirrors?”

Handong considers laughing it off. But the contemplative look on Bora’s face as she stares up at the ceiling makes her pause and think it over. 

“I guess so. It’s been so long though, I think I’m just used to it now.”

Bora hums in response. It’s a good spot for Handong to end the conversation - sleep sounds really tempting to her right now - but she knows that tone. That tone is one that says Bora isn’t satisfied with the answer, even if she might not want to say it out loud.

Sighing, Handong takes the bait. “Do you?”

Another pause before Bora responds. “Honestly? A lot. I miss being able to check myself how I’m looking, instead of asking someone if everything looks fine. Actually be able to confirm what they’re saying, you know?”

Handong narrows her eyes. “...I’m the only one you ask that. Are you saying I’m lying to you?”

“No!” Bora laughs and hits the taller woman’s arm. “You’re my friend, though. It’s your job to tell me I look good.”

“Excuse me, I can be both your hype woman and be completely honest, thank you very much.” 

Handong pouts, eyebrows furrowing in to show her displeasure. Bora is quick to coo at her and assure her she doesn’t mean it like that, lifting them back into that same relaxed silence from before. 

But Bora’s clearly not done, the issue still pressing on her mind. “I just mean… You’d think somebody would’ve figured out how to make a camera that can actually take a picture of us by now but here we are. It’s been hundreds of years since I last saw my reflection, in anything. At this point I don’t think I even remember what I look like.”

Ah. Handong softens at the admission. She can understand, she’s never thought about it much so it hasn’t really bothered her at all. She can remember how strange it was, at first, way back when she was turned. Walking by mirrors or pools of water and seeing absolutely nothing was disconcerting for a while. But what wasn’t disconcerting about her new existence? For her it just all became things she got used to and that was that. 

Knowing Bora though, Handong can see how it would be more difficult for her. She seems like the kind of person who’d wear out a mirror with how often she used it. Not in some egotistic or arrogant way, but just to check in. Maybe admire the view a bit, sure, but hey, might as well if it’s there, right?

Handong focuses her eyes back on the shorter woman, still laying next to her and staring at the ceiling. She finds herself really taking Bora in, in a way she doesn’t do often.

“You’re beautiful.” Handong blurts out.

Apparently not the response Bora was expecting. Handong can see the surprise pass over her face before she’s laughing again and pushing at Handong. 

“Oh, stop it. Now you’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

Handong smiles back, but keeps the serious feeling as she slightly leans over Bora’s form. “Hey, there you go doubting my honesty again.”

“I’m not-...w- what are you doing?”

“You wanted to know what you look like, well, I’m no camera but I can try.”

And so she does. Handong leans over further, detailing everything she can see. She picks out every little thing she can, from the shape of Bora’s eyebrows, to the sharpness of her nose, the soft slope of her cheeks and how they come to a point at her chin. All the while she drags her fingers lightly over each feature as she describes it, helping to show Bora the shapes she’s talking about. 

Bora just watches as she does so, listening intently, a soft look in her eyes as she sees the lengths Handong is going to to make Bora see herself the way Handong does. 

“How’s that?”

Bora blinks, taking a moment to return from the haze that had settled over her as she listened to Handong and tried to visualize everything. Handong smiles at the way it takes several moments for her eyes to focus again. 

Doing her best to regain her casual tone, Bora hums. “Mm. Not bad. Still not a mirror though.”

Handong scoffs, sitting back up and pushing Bora hard enough she rolls over a little. “After all that… wow. What did you do to deserve me, anyway?”

“Apparently I’m  _ beautiful, _ so, must be reason enough for you.”

“Oh, for the love of-” Handong stands up, holding her hands out. She tried. She tried, and this is what she gets for her efforts. “I’m off to bed.”

“No wait!” Bora calls, finally scrambling to her feet. “I’m kidding, thank you I love you so much! Don’t leave me!” She runs after Handong, leaping onto the taller woman’s back.

Handong stumbles from the force but catches her with an ease that comes from the sheer number of times the smaller woman has done this to her. As Bora clings to her, more dramatic pleas for forgiveness and declarations of undying love fall from her lips. 

And of course, Handong can’t help the smile that breaks out on her face. It’s Bora, after all. 

They reach the room, Bora satisfied that she’s cheered Handong back up. In light of that she sets about getting ready for bed. 

But Handong has one more lingering thought from their earlier conversation.

“Maybe we could go get our portraits done? Find a painter or someone that does realism, that should work, right?”

Bora smiles, soft. “I like that idea.”

“...”

“Still wouldn’t be as good as your starstruck descriptions of my beauty though.”

“Oh, shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since i didn't try too hard to make it clear, if y'all are curious, i'm headcannoning this as an au where vampires are just another part of society. and the party they went to is akin to.. idk maybe like a bdsm club style event, where like, everyone's vetted beforehand and then they go there expecting these kind of activities if they find someone they vibe with for it. 
> 
> but yeah definitely officially behind now but updates will keep coming at whatever pace i can manage :"D
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	10. day 9 "will you look at this?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As someone who met her soulmate young, Bora never thought too much about all the extra space in the design of her larger-than-usual soulmark. After all, every couple’s mark was unique, it was likely hers just so happened to look that way. 
> 
> Until one day, after years of a happy marriage with her soulmate, that space gets filled in.

“Honey, I’m home!” Bora calls out as she walks through the door of her apartment. She takes off her shoes and hangs up her coat, smiling at the faint laughter she hears from the kitchen. 

“Welcome home sweetie! Now go shower because I’m sure you still stink!” Her wife calls back. 

Offended, Bora ignores that demand and instead heads straight to the kitchen. “Excuse me?”

Her wife chuckles, not turning around as she continues flipping the meat she’s cooking. “I said what I said. You mentioned this morning it would be a hard day and I know you prefer showering here.”

Bora huffs a little but decides to have fun with it. She sidles up behind the taller woman with a mischievous smile. “But I’m sure you just missed me  _ so much _ today you can look past that to properly greet your beautiful wife, no?”

“Bora, wait-”

Her wife yelps as Bora grabs her from behind, wrapping her in a tight back hug. The taller woman squirms as much as she can holding tongs and standing right in front of a hot grill. But Bora holds fast, nestling against her from behind and rubbing her cheek wherever she can reach on her wife’s neck, shoulders, and face. 

_ “Bora! _ Stop it, I’m trying to cook!” Her wife does her best to sound serious in her scolding, but it’s easily undermined by the laughter that escapes her.

“Keep cooking then, babe.”

“Yeah well, don’t blame me when your dinner is gross. You’re gonna get your stink all over the food.”

“Minji! How could you?” Bora gasps dramatically, easily turning her wife around in her arms and shifting them over, so Bora can safely press the taller woman against the counter. “Pretty sure it’s still the cook’s fault if the food tastes bad, you’re just looking for an excuse.”

Minji smirks. “I don’t need an excuse when you’re right here, babe.”

Bora feels a pout set in. Low blow, she thinks, coming for her skills in the kitchen. “Hey! We both know who the best cook in this household is.”

Her wife laughs again, reaching towards Bora with her free hand. She presses a finger to her pouting lips, as if to wipe it away and reveal her smile once again. “You’re right. How can I make it up to you?”

Bora instantly brightens back up at that. Pouts are Minji’s weakness, it’s almost unfair how easy it is to get her way by busting out one of those. 

(Unfair is never going to stop Bora from doing it, though.) 

“Hmm, I think I need a kiss. You know how it is, I can’t shower if I don’t have my kiss.”

Her wife smiles, setting the tongs down to card that hand through Bora’s hair. “Ah, yes. The universal law of physics: No shower without kiss.” 

“Exactly.” Bora grins, letting her wife do the work to lean down and bring their lips together. They fall into the familiar dance, one that is always so easy to let get away from them, hours easily passing by as quickly as minutes when they do. 

Minji snaps out of it first, gently pushing Bora away. “There, now go shower before I burn our dinner."

Smiling big, Bora finally agrees. Heart light, as it almost always is when she’s with her soulmate, she heads to the bedroom to get cleaned up.

\----- 

It’s after dinner (that turned out just fine, thank you very much) when they’re snuggled up on the couch to watch some drama, that Bora sees it. 

Call her a romantic, or a sap, but sometimes… sometimes she just gets overwhelmed with how happy and lucky she feels. She and Minji met as kids, both staring in awe as they shook hands and the matching marks slowly enveloped their forearms with an intricate design of purple and pink lilies. From there, things were easy and natural, from becoming friends in their younger years to falling in love as they grew older. 

They’d hardly waited at all to get married, not feeling the need to stall when they both knew exactly what they wanted. The two of them had been completely inseparable ever since they met, nothing would ever change that. Seven years of marriage later and they’d yet to ever doubt that. 

Every so often (okay, pretty regularly) all that catches up to Bora, and she falls into it. Reminiscing about how lucky she is and how much she just… absolutely adores Minji. 

Tonight is apparently one of those nights. Minji excuses herself briefly to go to the bathroom, and Bora pauses their show to wait. Thinking about all this, she does something that’s become a bit of a habit of hers in these moments. She rolls up her right sleeve to look at her soulmark. The tangled web of lilies a physical reminder of the bond she shares with her wife, Bora can spend countless minutes staring at it and just… reveling in the love she and Minji share.

But tonight, something’s different. Bora blinks when she sees her mark, not believing her eyes. When it’s still there, she tries various things - she shakes her head, does a double take, rubs her eyes, wipes her arm as if to brush off what she sees but _knows_ can't possibly be there… nothing. 

Orange lilies. The new blooms fill in the space that’s been a part of her mark for the last twenty years - ever since she and Minji met when they were eight. If Bora weren’t so shocked, she’d admit that it’s beautiful. The orange flowers weaving with the purple and pink ones as if they’d always been there finishes the design in a way Bora can’t help but admire.

But any awe at the beauty of the newly finished mark is completely overshadowed by the shock and the worry. Bora doesn’t know what to make of this, what this means. After years and years with Minji, they’d never even considered that dynamic changing. It always had been, and always would be, her and Minji against the world. Their soulmark there as a pillar showing their unbreakable bond, a constant that always stayed the same no matter how they and the world around them changed as they grew up.

Now, it too has changed, and Bora’s not sure how to stay on her feet when it feels like the very ground underneath them has been taken away.

“Minji..?” Bora yells out, her voice holding out the name and rising towards the end with uncertainty and the taste of building panic. When she doesn’t hear a response, she calls out again, this time with more urgency. “Minji!”

Minji rounds the corner, emerging from the bedroom. She picks up on the anxious energy Bora’s giving off the moment she sees her, and quickly makes her way back to the couch. “What? What’s wrong?”

Minji returns to her spot to Bora’s left, wrapping an arm around her and looking searchingly into Bora’s eyes. Confusion and worry tightens the shorter woman’s voice when she responds, leaning into the comforting embrace of her wife. “I-... I don’t know.”

Confusion fills Minji as well, but she squeezes Bora closer to her, hoping to at least comfort her that way. Before she can probe further, Bora gathers herself enough to show Minji what’s happening. 

She lifts up her right arm, sleeve still pulled back to show her soulmark. “Just… will you look at this?”

Minji does. And involuntarily, Bora feels her heart sink. Like a weight made of every insecurity she never thought she had when it came to her soulmate latches on and pulls her down into the depths of uncertainty. She feels it in the way she watches her wife’s eyebrows furrow, her eyes lose focus for a second as the image of the changed soulmark registers in her mind, the way every muscle in the arm still wrapped around Bora simultaneously tenses.

“Minji… what… what does this  _ mean?” _

“I… I don’t know.”

The weight of that admission sits between them for a few moments, silence washing over the apartment. After so many years of certainty, Bora feels like she’s been thrown a curveball she never even had a chance to know existed before it was whizzing right by her. Judging by her reaction, she figures Minji feels about the same way.

But where Minji had always been better at taking things like this in stride - unexpected struggles or life events, the odd fight they got into over something petty, etc. Bora tends to get a bit overwhelmed. Her emotions welling up until they spill over and she does something rash in her attempt to cope. 

She can feel it happening now. Bora’s breath picks up, all the worst case scenarios flooding her brain and filling her with a fear that while probably unwarranted is still all-consuming. That’s why Minji had always been such a good rock for her, able to process these things a little better and faster so she could help Bora do the same. 

Thankfully that’s something that’s no different tonight. Minji quickly realizes what’s happening and swallows down her own shock to focus on her wife. “Hey, hey. Bora, look at me, okay sweetie? Look at me.”

The taller woman guides Bora with her gentle words and caring eyes, slowly grounding her again. When she knows the shorter woman is more herself again, no longer lost in the waves, she reassures her. 

“Look, this is sudden. Different. Maybe even scary. But it doesn’t have to be bad.”

Bora sniffs a bit, not even having realized until now that her nose had started to clog up with the threat of tears. “How am I supposed to believe that? The one thing in my life that was never going to change just did.”

Minji’s eyes tighten with emotion, never able to completely hold herself together when faced with Bora’s tears. “It didn’t though. Bora, look.” Minji kneels in front of the couch and pulls Bora’s right arm over into Bora’s lap, placing her own next to it. 

Bora almost whimpers at the sight of the two soulmarks side by side. For twenty years they’d been identical. Seeing them now, hers holding an entirely different color not even present in Minji’s mark, for the first time in her life she finds herself wishing she could just make the mark go away. 

When Minji speaks again, Bora clings to her voice like a lifeline. “No, Bora, don’t look at the new stuff. Look at what’s always been there.” She points along Bora’s mark, mapping out the purple and pink lilies and matching them to her own flowers on her arm. “See? Still the same.”

“But-”

“No buts.” Minji cuts her off. “Nothing about  _ our _ marks has changed. Something’s just been added on.”

“What are you saying?”

Minji inhales deeply, her left hand gripping Bora’s thigh lightly as if in reassurance for both of them. “What I’m saying is… I’m not going anywhere. Nothing’s changed between  _ us, _ only something has been potentially added to us. No matter what though, we’ll figure this out. Us,  _ together, _ will figure this out.” 

Bora nods. Maybe not fully convinced yet, but Minji’s logic is sound, she thinks. And above all, she knows she trusts Minji completely. 

\-----

They don’t get back to the drama that night, instead spending the time in each other’s arms, taking comfort from each other’s presence. Though once the initial knee-jerk emotions have run their course, they do both feel a lot better. Minji’s right, Bora thinks. They’ve gotten through everything else in their life together, there’s no reason this should be any different.

It’s then that they’re able to ask some of the other questions - namely, who was it Bora met that day? Who’s the one with the matching orange lilies? 

Bora’s at a bit of a loss. She’s been at this company working as a dance instructor and choreographer for years at this point. She knows everyone there and everyone knows her. Not to mention that today she spent most of her time cooped with the same few dancers she’s worked with countless times before, intent on perfecting a routine she needed to present in just a couple days to the CEO and the group she made it for. 

She knows for a fact they’ve all touched at some point. Years of her correcting forms and the little collisions and mishaps that just happen during long days of practice, there’s no way she made contact with one of them for the very first time today. 

Even just walking through the hallways… there’s no one there she could run into that she hasn’t at least shaken hands with at some point. It’s a smaller company with a relatively low turnover, and Bora has worked with just about every department on something or other.

It’s Minji who cracks it, a memory from a week or so ago resurfacing. “Wait, when did you say that new vocal coach was starting? The classically trained one from abroad. You mentioned hearing about it last week.”

Bora’s eyes widen. “Today. They started today.” The shorter woman pauses, thinking. “Now that you mention it I remember Yubin saying during practice that she heard they arrived.”

“Well, did you meet them?”

Bora shakes her head. “No. Not even sure who they are or what they look like. I don’t even remember running into them at all. But there’s no one else it could be… There shouldn’t have been anyone else new today or any visitors. And I definitely didn’t run into anyone new while I was alone in the car on the way to and from work.”

Minji looks ahead, vacant. But only for a moment. “Well, that settles it then. Go find the new vocal coach once you get to work tomorrow.”

Bora sputters a bit in response. “What? And then what? Invite them over for dinner?”

Minji brightens at that. “Yeah, actually that’s a great idea.” Seeing Bora’s mouth drop open, she laughs. “Oh come on, it’s the perfect way to get to know them, see what happens. It’s not like you were planning on keeping me a secret, right?”

“No! But-”

“Perfect. Dinner it is then.” 

When Bora’s jaw drops and a glare manifests, Minji merely smirks in response. “I’ll make sure I’m home early again from the bakery to whip up something good.”

If there’s anything Bora’s learned from her years with this woman, it’s how to tell when she’s got her mind set and won’t take no for an answer. Bora just hopes everything goes as well as Minji seems to think it will.

\-----

When Bora arrives at the company, she’s nervous.

It’s a foreign feeling to her. Not necessarily the nervousness itself, but what she’s nervous about feels strange and new. It never really dawned on her until now, but since she met Minji so young, she never had to deal with this before. The nerves of meeting your soulmate for the first time when you’re older, already well past dating age. The stress of worrying what kind of person they are, what their impression of you will be. 

Even just the nervousness before a first date - soulmate or not - is something Bora didn’t  _ really _ ever have to experience. Sure, she was a little nervous on her first date with Minji, but that was mainly because she had planned it and wanted it to go well. By the time they decided to make the dating part official, they’d already basically been dating for months and little changed other than getting to call each other “my girlfriend.” 

Now, standing before the mundane door to her company building as she experiences this all for the first time, she can’t say she’s upset she didn’t have to deal with this before. It almost feels like she’s gonna be sick, all the various ways she imagines this could go wrong churning about in one big maelstrom in her stomach. 

She takes a deep breath. She is  _ Kim Fucking Bora. _ A confident 28 year old woman that’s performed for thousands all over the world and choreographed for countless other performers seen by even more people. She’s not gonna stand here outside and let a little nervousness scare her off like a sixteen year old with her first crush. 

_ Alright. New vocal coach, where are you? _

\-----

Entering the building, it’s easy for Bora to tell that news has already spread. She passes a few of her coworkers and hears some talk about the new vocal coach, asking each other if they’ve met the newbie yet.

When Bora casually slips herself into the conversation, her friend Yoohyeon gets her exactly the confirmation she’s looking for. 

“Yeah, the newbie’s already spent most of the morning going around and meeting everyone. At first we thought she was just being extra friendly, but apparently she got her soulmark yesterday. Thinks it’s probably someone here.”

Bora nods, trying not to show too much of a reaction, and filing away the new info. At least now she knows the coach is a woman. “Any idea where she is now?” 

Yoohyeon side eyes her a little. “Why?”

Not expecting to be questioned, Bora’s eyes glance away before she can stop them and focus back on Yoohyeon. “I didn’t get a chance to meet her yesterday, figured I might as well today since I have more time and she’s out mingling anyways.”

The taller woman regards her for longer than Bora would like, enough to make her shift her weight as she waits for a response.

“Aren’t you married?”

_ Fuck. _ “I am. Very happily, in fact. What does that have to do with anything?” Bora realizes her tone comes out as way too defensive, but what can she say? She’s a bit on edge and Yoohyeon, as per usual it seems, effortlessly manages to find her buttons and press them.

“...nothing, I guess.” Yoohyeon gives in after another moment of skeptical eye contact. “Uh, last I heard she was heading down towards the dance practice rooms, so you might run into her just going in like normal.”

“Right, thanks Yooh.” 

Bora takes off before they can question her any further, and tries to shut out the murmurings she hears behind her. Unfortunately she still catches some of it, hearing Yoohyeon and her friend wondering about why Bora would be looking for someone who got their soulmark, and “her wife  _ is _ her soulmate right? I didn’t imagine that massive mark she has on her arm?”

She hates the way it makes her worries from the night before resurface. Minji’s words become a bit of a mantra as she walks, using her reassurances that they’d get through this together as a way to compose herself before she meets this person.

Bora’s definitely thankful for those words and the composure they help her get back, because it’s only moments after she enters her practice room that she sees her.

Across the room, a couple of her dancers are talking to her, looking at her outstretched right arm. Bora takes in her form, noting her vibrant hair.  _ Bright orange, how fitting. _ She can’t quite hear the conversation from here, but she can imagine the woman mentioning getting this yesterday and the dancers saying they didn’t but asking to see it. 

Bora steels herself, slowly making her way over as she tries to think of how to get a moment alone with the vocal coach. Thankfully, Yubin helps her out with that, being the only one to notice her entrance and look up. Bora silences her with a finger on her lips, and subtly gestures out the door, hoping her longtime friend and coworker will get the message.

Proving once again Yubin is always someone Bora can count on, she pats the other dancer on the back and makes up some excuse about forgetting they had to get something, and leads him out the door. Bora catches the confused look Yubin sends her and knows she’ll have to explain later, but for now she just wants to focus on meeting the new woman.

And when said woman turns towards her? Well, Bora can forget about the composure she’d worked so hard to keep up until now. 

She’s  _ beautiful, _ for one thing. Bora finds herself almost in awe of her gentle doe eyes, her soft cheeks, and the small nervous smile she’s wearing. Not to mention the way she manages to pull off the orange hair, something Bora knows is not easy. 

Her confidence swells just a little when she realizes the other woman seems to be reacting similarly, but she seems to snap out of it quickly. “Oh! You must be Kim Bora.” The woman bows before offering her hand to shake.

Bora takes it, a bit bewildered. “You know me?”

The woman nods. “Your reputation precedes you. I… well, I became a bit of a fan when I was researching this company and saw your work. I look forward to hopefully working with you with some of the performers here, if the opportunity arises.”

“Ah.” Bora clears her throat. “I’m flattered. I’m sure we will work together at some point, miss…?” 

“Oh, where are my manners. Sorry. I’m Handong, the new vocal coach.”

“Handong.” Bora repeats, tasting how the name feels on her tongue. “Nice to meet you.” 

A moment passes, Bora trying so hard not to stare at the tiny bit of Handong’s soulmark she can see peeking out under her sleeve. She’s not sure how to make the sudden transition of topics, but Handong doesn’t seem about to do it herself and Bora knows she can feel the tension bleeding off of the shorter woman.

“So I heard you got your soulmark yesterday? Heck of a first day, huh?”

Bora wants to facepalm herself right into the middle of next week. 

Thankfully, Handong is startled but recovers quickly, saving the shorter woman at least some embarrassment. “I did! Yeah, I haven’t found them yet though, whoever it is.”

Bora swallows thickly, letting out a muffled “uh huh” before regaining her voice. “Can I see it?”

Handong seems to cheer up a bit at that, losing some of the tension hanging over them. “Sure! It’s really pretty, if I dare say so myself.”

The vocal coach pulls back her sleeve, and Bora’s breath hitches audibly. There it is. A tangled web of beautiful lilies in full bloom, identical to hers and Minji’s, only that this one is missing the pink flowers. The orange and purple ones all knot together in the exact same way as the ones on Bora’s arm, with space left open for more blooms much like Minji’s current mark and the way Bora’s used to be. 

“Wow…” Bora exhales. 

Handong smiles, clearly pleased with the reaction. “Told you it was pretty. Now if I could just find who-”

“It’s me.” Bora blurts out. Not exactly how she planned to go about that, but it does certainly work in getting Handong to suddenly fall silent, eyes wide with surprise.

“Really? Can… can I see it?”

Bora hesitates, too long. Just long enough that she can see confusion and doubt creep into Handong’s expression. Spurred into action, Bora lifts her arm. “Right, uh, of course. Just… hear me out, okay?” 

Clearly confused, Handong still nods to her request and Bora sighs in relief. Steeling herself, she rolls back her own sleeve. 

Handong gasps, but it quickly turns from excitement to irritation. “That’s not the same, why would you joke about something like this?”

“Wait! No, hear me out, please. You said you would.” Bora waits an agonizingly long moment for Handong to back down, and her shoulders slump in relief when the vocal coach nods. “Look closer, I swear to you they’re the same. The parts you have, at least.”

Still skeptical, Handong does as she asks. Holding their arms up side by side, the fight slowly leaves her until it’s just the confusion left behind. “Okay… I can see it. But what’s all this?” She asks, pointing at the pink flowers on Bora’s arm.

“I’m married.”

“...What?”

This time Bora does actually facepalm. Just  _ once _ could her big mouth give her a break. “Sorry, I-... Yeah. I meant, I already have a soulmate. That’s what the rest of the mark is. That part’s been there for years, but yesterday, these showed up.” Bora points to the orange lilies.

Handong follows along, but seems to still be hung up processing the ‘married’ comment. “Wait, so you’re already… oh. Then… I guess…” 

Bora can sense where Handong is going, can see the conclusion before she vocalizes it. It’s fair, it’s likely the same one Bora would reach initially if she met her soulmate for the first time only for them to tell her they’re already married. She cuts her off before she can get there.

“No! I mean, yes, I am married. And I do love her very much. But…” Bora pauses, thinking carefully how she wants to phrase this, “but my soulmark hasn’t lied to me all these years, I don’t see why it would now. And now that I’ve seen all three marks, I have a hunch what all the flowers mean.”

“And what’s that?”

Bora smiles. “Ah, that would ruin the fun, wouldn’t it?” At Handong’s mildly unimpressed look, Bora presses on to recover. “Okay. Regardless, there’s a way to find out if I’m right. Would you maybe like to come over tonight for dinner? I’d love to get to know you more and my wife is also really eager to meet you.”

Handong hesitates, eyes searching Bora’s for truthfulness. Then trailing down to look back and forth between their arms and the marks on them again. It’s guarded at first, but Bora can see the uncertainty falling away the longer she looks. The willingness to at least give it a try.

“Okay.”

\-----

Bora’s nervous again. Minji can obviously tell, since she’s been suppressing her normally curious nature ever since Bora got home, letting the dancer work out her nervous energy however she needs instead of asking her questions. Bora appreciates it, it allowed her to just drop a quick “mission accomplished!” as she came in the door before focusing entirely on getting cleaned up and mentally prepared.

In theory, if Bora’s right about the marks, it should go smoothly. She doesn’t see why it wouldn’t. The main thing, she figures, is how to go about it. As weird and new as this all is for herself and Minji, Bora wants to keep in mind that it’s likely several times that for Handong. Top priority for her is to make sure Handong feels comfortable and welcomed, and  _ not _ like the universe just sentenced her to a lifetime of third-wheeling. 

\----- 

When Handong arrives, it’s Minji who breaks the ice. 

Handong and Bora revert to their nervous selves they had been at the company. Small smiles and greetings as Bora invites her in. 

Meanwhile, Minji apparently decides to go with the ‘blurt out the first thought on your mind’ tactic once she sees the vocal coach.

“Oh thank god.”

Bora has just long enough to register the surprise on Handong’s face before she snaps her head back to look at her wife. She has no words but she’s sure her expression conveys her ‘what the fuck, Minji’ sentiment just fine.

“What?” Minji asks, innocent and unbothered. “You never told me who it was. My gay ass is just relieved your bi one is so weak for women.”

“Minji!” Bora scolds. Unbelievable, this woman. But it worked, the ice is broken, and Bora can feel herself relaxing already. (After all, Bora is well aware that that kind of behavior from Minji comes directly from how much Bora’s personality has rubbed off on her over the years). Bora scoffs, “Please, bold of you to think I’d share her anyways.”

Minji just hums in response. “Mm, as if you’ve ever been able to resist me.” Seemingly becoming aware of Handong still standing just inside the doorway, looking amused but still a bit like a fish out of water, Minji ignores Bora’s eyeroll to approach the vocal coach and introduce herself.

She bows and offers her hand out to shake, her infectious energy and contagious smile working their magic like they always do to brighten Handong right back up as well. It’s something Bora’s always admired about her wife. Her charms and joyful energy always have been impossible for anyone to resist.

Handong takes the offered hand, and they both watch in awe as Minji’s soulmark starts shifting. Orange flowers writhe into existence, tangling themselves with the purple and pink ones already present, and the blooms settle into the empty space. Now complete, the mark is once again identical to Bora’s, and Bora feels a peace settle over her at the confirmation of her hunch. 

Snapping out of it, Handong pulls up her sleeve to check her own mark, gasping when she sees that pink has been added to hers. All three now confirmed to be identical, a certain warmth fills the room. This is where they’re all meant to be. Maybe Minji and Bora didn’t know there was still an empty spot to be filled, that there was still looking to be done. But they found Handong nonetheless, and they can  _ feel _ the gap they didn’t even know was there until today has been filled. 

And Handong, who’s waited so long to finally find her soulmate, suddenly has two in two days. She knows there’s work to be done to get to know each other and build this new dynamic. But she also knows it’s going to work out.

Minji again decides to be the one to break the moment. She smirks at Bora, raising an eyebrow. 

“So, what were you saying about no sharing?”

\-----

Dinner goes smoothly after that, and the married couple finds themselves unpacking the day’s events as they lay next to each other in bed that night. 

“So that went well, right?” Bora asks.

“I think so. I think she seemed eager, just overwhelmed. But I think we did a good enough job assuring her we want to integrate her into this, not treat her as some sort of side chick to our marriage or whatever.”

Bora hums in agreement, finding Minji’s hand under the covers. “I think so too. That was my main goal tonight, other than just getting to know her. That and making sure she knows we’ll all take this at whatever pace she’s comfortable with, no rushing or anything.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Minji plays with the fingers of Bora’s hand, both enjoying the familiar contact as they sit in the silence for a bit. It’s new, it’s uncharted territory, but both are more than ready to see where this new adventure takes them. Handong seems to them like she’ll fit right in in no time.   


A few more moments of silence pass.

“Ah, damnit.”

“...What?”

“We’re gonna need to buy a bigger bed, huh?”

_ “Bora.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got a little carried away with the jibo here oops but i figure as long as the sudong is indeed in there somewhere it still counts haha 
> 
> soulmate aus are another trope that's very dear to me.. might see more of that later ngl
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	11. day 10 "all i ever wanted"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bora still remembers what it was like to love the stars. But now all she can feel when she sees them is grief… regret, for the one she left among them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay strap in this is a long note, but i do think it is important so pls do read it 🥺
> 
> first and most important:  
> TRIGGER WARNING: trauma, mentions of blood, gore, death. this one ain't my usual fluff folks  
> SPOILER WARNING for maple's au "countless stars" (on twitter)  
> ^that's part of the reason this took so long, i wanted to wait until that au was finished and catch up a bit in the meantime (but then i also had a rly bad couple weeks and am still behind anyways, but hey it happens i guess lmao) 
> 
> anyways, yeah. this lil fic is directly inspired by maple's (@firelordsiyeon) twitter au "Countless Stars." it's an interactive au they just finished, based on the game Among Us. if you're not familiar with either of those things, this likely won't make much sense. if you plan on reading this and haven't read maple's work, definitely do go check that out (https://twitter.com/firelordsiyeon/status/1311026828547686403). both for that reason and just because it's really good ^^ definitely heed their trigger warnings though, as the au is more explicit in those aspects
> 
> spoiler-wise, this will reveal who the imposters were, and certain events that happen. make sure to read the au first and not the other way around if you want to experience the doubt and the mystery (it's fun i promise, even if the polls are over now)
> 
> lastly, for those who have read the au, i actually wrote this before chapter 5 was released. meaning, before [redacted] was revealed as the second imposter and we chose how the endgame played out. so anything referred to here that happened after that point was me imagining how it might play out. any similarities/differences to the au after that were coincidence
> 
> oh and this was posted with maple's permission, they read it a while back and gave me the go-ahead (thank you again!) ^^

a hyperlink to make it easier - read [maple's au](https://twitter.com/firelordsiyeon/status/1311026828547686403) ! :D okay starting for real now

~~~~~~~~~~

Bora shifts her position, trying to get a bit more comfortable on the hard surface of her car. It’s cold, the slight breeze nipping at any exposed skin. The metal beneath her is equally so, keeping her body chilled through the light fabric of her sweater not quite suited to the weather.

It’s not really the cold that bothers her though. No, it’s the emptiness. Staring up into the night sky, at the wondrous expanse of countless stars… and feeling nothing but cold.

She can remember how it used to be. How she used to stare out at the stars and see something worthy of awe, of excitement. How her mind would imagine the countless undiscovered worlds, entire new solar systems full of life so different from their own it would take lifetimes to understand it.

Back then, the stars held nothing but possibilities. Endless possibilities, just waiting for Bora to take the initiative and make them come true.

Now, she doesn’t see the stars. Not really. Even now, on this little excursion she took with the express purpose of trying to look at the stars - to regain even the tiniest bit of that wonder she used to have - there’s nothing. 

Now she looks up into the night sky, and she sees the darkness. The vast emptiness in between the stars, full of the unknown. She sees the darkness move, reaching towards her in menacing tangled knots, sharp and unforgiving. 

She looks up into the night sky, and feels a prickle at the back of her neck. A phantom pain that will never let her forget. 

Bora shakes her head. This was stupid. Stupid of her to think something as simple as retrying her old hobby of stargazing would be enough to lift the weight off her chest. To let her reclaim any of her passion for exploring the vast unknown beyond Earth. 

Those days are gone now. Taken from her in a way she’s not sure anything could ever resolve.

Bora just about resigns herself to making the lonesome drive back to her apartment, when soft footsteps make her freeze. She doesn’t look, worried that she knows exactly who it is.

“Bora.”

Bora’s breath quickens, the weight on her chest growing impossibly heavier as the newcomer lays down next to her on the hood. She doesn’t dare look over, unwilling to tear her eyes away from the dark sky above her she’d been so ready to abandon only moments ago.

“Dongie. You can’t be here. You shouldn’t-... You know you should leave me alone.”

“Oh Bora…” Handong starts, and the gentle way her voice caresses her name is enough to break down all of Bora’s defenses. All the walls she’d spent so much time building, carefully erecting them brick by torturous brick, and with one word they crumble apart. “You don’t mean that. You don’t really want me gone.”

Tears prick at Bora’s eyes, shaking her head because of course Handong’s right. She could never want her gone. Never  _ did _ want her gone. Bora just wishes she could’ve told her that when it truly mattered. 

Bora knows no words are needed to answer Handong’s declaration directly, so instead she just lets it all out. Everything that had been so carefully stacked behind those walls she’d built comes tumbling out onto the rubble.

“Oh Dongie… I wanted so much. For me, for you, for the crew and our ship… there was so much more ahead.” Bora laughs, but it’s nothing like the laugh she used to let loose so freely. Instead it’s sharp, bitter, full of the same emptiness and longing that consumes so much of her life now. “We really had it all, didn’t we?”

Handong hums lightly. “I guess we did. Plenty of successful missions under our belts, a wide variety of complementary skills, and most of all… a close-knit, trustworthy crew.”

The words feel like knives, each one biting into Bora deeper and deeper, the pain all centered on the spot right at the apex of her spine.

“Yeah,” Handong continues, “I think that was what I valued most. How I knew each and every one of us had each other’s back, that we could all rely on each other no matter what.”

“Dongie… please…” It comes out as a strangled plea. 

“You’re right. We really did have everything. If only some of us were strong enough to keep it all, right?”

Bora can feel the accusing glare directed at her, like their old ship’s laser weapons burning right through her. 

“Dongie… I didn’t… I never wanted-...”

This time Handong cuts her off, her calm voice rising with bitterness and hostility. It’s a harsh tone Bora can’t ever remember hearing from Handong before, but it so perfectly embodies the betrayal she’d seen on her face the last time they’d truly been together.

“‘I never wanted it,’ she says. It’s always about what you want, isn’t it? ‘I wanted’ this, ‘I never wanted’ that. Have you ever stopped to wonder what I wanted?”

“Dongie…” This time the name comes out broken, the last whimper of someone begging for everything to stop. A person who’s entire world has already shattered, desperately clinging to the tiny pieces in the hopes that even part of it could ever be put back together.

“All I ever wanted… was to  _ live.” _

And that’s when the sobs break loose. Bora almost convulses with the strength behind them, the sounds tearing her raw from the inside out. Guilt and regret churns within her, like Jupiter’s Great Red Spot itself is ripping her apart.

She sees flashes - glimpses of all the things she’s tried so hard to forget. Memories she’s worked endlessly to bury deep in her mind, under reassurances that all feel so empty now.

_ “It’s not your fault” _ gets blown away by the feeling of her bones cracking and mending over and over, quietly dropping down into navigation from the ceiling.

_ “You didn’t actually do it” _ sent flying out of her mind as she sees herself chirp out a loud and cheerful greeting, but only to cover the noise of the lock clicking into place. 

_ “There was nothing you could do” _ shrivels and disintegrates while she remembers what it was like, trapped inside her own mind. Screaming and banging against the back of her own eyes, unable to stop her body from acting normally. Holding up a normal conversation, indistinguishable from her own personality.

_ “Really, you did all you could. You fought so hard, and it  _ did _ save lives” _ crumbles as her mind can only fixate on the one she couldn’t save. The betrayal and the pain that crossed Handong’s face when she felt the appendage dig into her chest, still staring into the eyes of someone she’d trusted unconditionally. The confusion and despair as she fell to the ground, her companion’s eyes cold and unfeeling even as she watched one of her oldest friends gasp out her last breath. 

Bora remembers what it was like, watching her dear friend die, blood on her own hands, and knowing Handong would never know the truth about what happened. She remembers the extra agony that she couldn’t apologize, couldn’t send any sort of sign or even say goodbye. 

And then more memories come tumbling in, the dam broken. Each one adds its own flavor of regret to the maelstrom. Bora sees red flashing lights, the reactor alarm blaring. She sees herself lying, suggesting poor plans of action, gripping too tightly, blood, Gahyeon’s body completely transformed, the hole in Siyeon’s stomach, the horror on the rest of the crew’s faces when they’d realized Gahyeon wasn’t the only one…

Minji, tears pouring down her face as she holds a gun, pointed straight at her. The despair, the desperate desire not to believe, but  _ knowing _ what she felt when her hand had found the back of Bora’s neck. 

The sheer agony of the mixture Yoohyeon poured down her back, safe for her skin but burning through the creature attached. Its pain was hers, flaming needles piercing and scorching her as the creature struggled to live, or to at least take them all down with it.

Seeing Handong’s body again, finally herself once more, but all of her apologies falling on ears that could no longer hear her. And her tears falling for a body that could no longer see them.

Bora finally returns to herself somewhat, now able to see the sky above she’d been staring at before. Most of all she feels her body, stiff and sore and cold from laying on the car for so long and from how hard she cried. 

“Dongie… I miss you. I miss you so,  _ so _ much.” She finally turns towards where Handong had been laying next to here, her arm reaching out, and finding nothing there. Bora stares into the space where the Handong her mind had conjured up would be had she been real. 

_ “I’m sorry.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first angst addition! not exactly typical of me so thank you if did decide to go for it. this was honestly just something that i Had to write, as it was stuck in my head after some convos maple and i had about their au. i think it was a way for me to process some of all the heart wrenching stuff happening off-screen and in the heads of the non-pov characters. lots to unpack in there, could probably write several spin-offs at this point lmao
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoyed and thank you as always for reading ^^


	12. day 11 "i told you so"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An impromptu snowball fight becomes the evidence Gahyeon needs to [finally] convince her girlfriend about the campus’ unlikely couple.

Gahyeon rolls across the ground, barely dodging a snowball headed right for her stomach. She pops up and fires one back, hitting her girlfriend square in the shoulder. Siyeon yells in indignation as she ducks behind a tree and Gahyeon returns her attention to the other students around her, all firing off snowballs in a whirlwind of chaos that engulfs this section of campus.

She’s not really sure how it started. One moment, Gahyeon was walking back to the dorms after her last class of the day while Siyeon complained about all the homework her evil professor had assigned for the weekend. The next, she’s sucked into a conflict with loosely divided sides, the only goal really being to hit as many other people as possible and get more to join in. 

Not that she’s that surprised. It is the first big snow of the year, and it happened to fall right before the weekend. What better time for a bunch of college students to enjoy the weather and get out some frustration from the long week?

A few successful hits and quite a few misses later, Gahyeon hears loud and distinctive laughter a little ways off to her left. Recognizing the turkey-like sound as Bora, she runs to her girlfriend to plot her next move. 

Siyeon sees her approach with wide eyes and pelts her again with a snowball to the chest in an attempt to slow her down. Gahyeon fights the temptation to get her back and instead yells at her to wait.

“No, truce! Truce!” Siyeon pauses long enough for Gahyeon to catch up to her, and she lays a hand on the older girl’s back. Gahyeon points towards Bora, who’s caught up in the fight as well, teamed up with Yubin as they fire snowballs back and forth at Minji and Yoohyeon (who definitely look like they’ve taken a few hits). “I’ve got an idea.”

Together they sneak around to just behind Bora and Yubin, hiding behind a rudimentary snow wall some students had hastily built a little while ago. Gahyeon holds a finger to her lips when she makes eye contact with Minji. Thankfully she gets the message and continues her losing battle with the younger girls to buy the couple some time, and the two get to work gathering up snow for their ambush.

She’s distracted, however, by someone else not in the fight, lingering back on the path a little ways behind Minji and Yoohyeon. Struck by the fond look on her face, the absolute hearts pouring out of her eyes, Gahyeon can’t miss the opportunity to point it out to Siyeon. 

“Siyeon, look! It’s Handong!” Gahyeon smacks the older girl’s shoulder and points to where the blond is standing and watching the fight. 

Annoyed, Siyeon grunts out a ‘what?’ as she looks towards the path. “What about her?”

“The way she’s looking at Bora, do you see that? There’s no way you can still think they aren’t dating. Look at her face!”

Siyeon scoffs, but takes another look. “That doesn’t prove anything. Besides, I stand by what I said before - it’s  _ Bora. _ I refuse to believe she wouldn’t have told us by now or at least let something slip if she were actually dating the girl of her dreams already.”

Gahyeon rolls her eyes. “And I stand by what I said. Bora doesn’t pine over her anymore, how is that not a clear sign to you?”

“She totally still does! What are you talking about-”

Their bickering gets cut short as they both look up just in time to see tragedy happen. Bora whips a snowball that overshoots Yoohyeon just enough to sail clear over her.

And  _ nail _ Handong right in the face. 

Everything in the immediate area stops. There’s still plenty of chaos happening further away as other students continue their battles, but the ones close enough to have seen what happened all stop and stare. Even other students who aren’t part of their little group but know who Handong is stop to see what happens.

Someone just hit Handong in the face with a snowball… They’re all about to bear witness to a murder. 

That is, everyone stops… except for Bora. She’s cackling her manic laugh, only laughing harder when Handong dramatically wipes the snow off her face and a glare settles in. 

Handong doesn’t break her stare, slowly setting her backpack down on the pathway and taking a moment to gather herself before standing back up and approaching the shorter girl. Who’s still laughing. But the closer the Chinese girl gets, the smaller Bora’s laughs get, until finally concern settles into her expression.

Bora almost involuntarily takes a step back, shrinking just a little under the glare still directed at her. Gahyeon wants to laugh at how unlike the boisterous girl it is to shy away from someone like that, and would if she weren’t so caught up in watching everything play out.

“Wait, shit did I actually hurt you?” Bora takes another step back as Handong continues her determined approach. Her hands come up as she tries to defuse the situation. “I’m sorry babe, I didn’t mean-”

Bora cuts herself off with a squeal, because Handong grabs the front of her shirt and dumps a whole wad of snow right down inside it. With a shove Bora lands ass first in a snow pile behind her. Everyone (including Gahyeon’s lovely, but oh-so-clueless girlfriend) gasps, but Handong just finally breaks and starts laughing just as hard as Bora was before. 

Bora squirms, trying to get the snow out of her shirt. Once she finally settles, she looks up from the pile with a glare of her own. “Not fair!” she yells, and springs up to grab the younger girl. Handong has a moment where her face contorts comically, scrunching into the most perfect ‘oh shit’ expression Gahyeon’s maybe ever seen, and she takes off running. 

Unfortunately it’s not enough and Bora quickly catches her. They fall to the ground, giggling and rolling as they each try to cover each other with more snow. Still tumbling, eventually they land with Bora firmly on top, pinning the younger girl down and making Gahyeon feel like she’s watching a romantic comedy. 

Seriously, the way they just completely halt, staring into each other’s eyes like  _ that? _ There might as well have a massive neon sign above them that says ‘we’re having a _Moment_ _’_ and some cheesy music in the background. 

Bora leans in a bit before stopping herself and abruptly pulling away, as if remembering where she is. It’s very unlike her, and Gahyeon figures it must be because Handong isn’t fond of public displays of affection or something. It would explain why Bora’s been so quiet about this relationship - that Gahyeon is  _ certain _ has been going on for a while now - since caring about her girlfriend’s comfort is likely one of the only ways to get Bora to tone down enough to hide it this long. 

To Bora’s surprise (and everyone else’s), Handong smirks and pulls her back down for the kiss worthy of such a Moment . 

Gahyeon can’t help the grin. Sure it’s a tiny bit weird they’re just  _ going for it _ and that everyone is still lowkey staring, but it’s just too cute for her not to. And in the other bystanders’ defences, they’re all likely still staring in shock more than anything else - that  _ Handong _ of all people is dating Kim Bora. 

What snaps Gahyeon out of it though, is the bewildered voice of her own girlfriend. 

“No way.”

Gahyeon snaps her head towards Siyeon, taking in the shocked look on her face. A combination of triumph and indignation rushes through her and she stands up. “See! I told you so! I  _ told _ you they were together already!” 

With no response to that, Siyeon can only yell in return and use the snowballs initially meant for their friends to get some more shots in on Gahyeon. It seems to break the rest of the tension around them as the chaos kicks back into high gear, battles starting back up again and Minji and the others including the couple in their list of targets. 

Dodging a snowball from Yubin, Gahyeon glances over again to see the two lovebirds still in their own world. She smiles... and beans Yoohyeon right in the butt with her own throw. 

They’ll have plenty of time to tease Bora later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a lil outside perspective one to switch it up as we go back to my regularly scheduled softness lol
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	13. day 12 "watch me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handong decides how to make the most of her quarantine (and torture - in a good way, she promises - Bora in the process).

“I just can’t believe you’re finally back.”

Handong smiles. She can hear the note of wonder underneath Bora’s voice, even through the phone. It makes her heart flutter gently, warmth flooding it from knowing just how much the older woman means it. How much she’s missed her. 

“Honestly, me neither.” Handong says back. And it’s true. Even being the one that actually had to physically make the trip, and is now settled into the hotel for her quarantine, it’s hard for her to fully grasp it as well. 

It’s just been so long, and so much longer than she originally thought it would be. When she’d left she’d been prepared for the time apart, but it’s the time that got added on and the uncertainty that came with all of it that really made it difficult.

Handong knows Bora’s had a hard time with it too, even if she’s good at hiding it most of the time. Well, from everyone but Handong herself, that is, but still. They’d gotten good at sneaking in whatever phone and video calls they could, but that could only tide them over so well especially with how much time Handong spent without her phone. 

Now, in the final stretch, every day just feels even longer. Handong thought she’d be relieved now that she’s at least back in the same country. Instead, being so close but still having to wait just makes each and every moment that much more difficult to get through. It doesn’t help either that she’s stuck in a hotel room with nothing to do. 

“I feel like it’s even worse now, the waiting. I swear I’m  _ this _ close to just charging in there to see you right now, quarantine or not.” Bora says, as if she’s reading Handong’s mind.

“It’s definitely worse. You should do it, I’d love to see the headlines berating you for irresponsibly breaking quarantines just to see me early.” 

Bora laughs on the other end of the line. “Worth it, honestly. Just think, I’d have to quarantine too then. Two weeks, all to ourselves…”

Handong’s mind whirls with the possibilities. They’ve never had the chance to spend that long alone together. The idea is… nice. Even if all but impossible, the thought is a fun one to entertain. Handong tries to lighten the topic before that train of thinking completely takes off, or she’ll never be able to focus.

“Hey, now you’re just being mean. Don’t tempt me with things like that.”

Bora hums, but lets it drop. “Don’t worry. Final stretch. We’ll be seeing each other in no time.”

Handong pouts, and she hopes Bora can hear it through the phone. “Easy for you to say, at least you can keep busy. I’ll be here just staring at the wall soon once I use up the few things I can do to pass the time.” 

A coo comes through the line, and Handong has to resist rolling her eyes from the way Bora baby talks her. “Aw, it’s okay baby.”

About to come back with something sarcastic, Handong’s stopped by another thought. The previous topic comes back to the front of her mind, bringing with it an image of the red lingerie she'd bought recently on impulse just because of how much she knew Bora would love to see her in it. She smiles at the mischievous idea.

“You know, I think I know exactly how I can make this just as hard a wait for you as it is for me.”

Bora is quick to protest. “Who says it isn’t hard for me?”

Handong ignores her. “Two weeks, all by myself… nobody looking over my shoulder at my phone… nice big bed… I think I can come up with  _ lots _ of fun stuff to send you while I wait.”

The line goes silent while Bora processes what Handong means. A smirk settles onto the Chinese woman’s face - she can almost hear the gears turning wildly in Bora’s head. 

“You would  _ not,” _ is what Bora eventually comes up with. 

Handong’s smirk grows. 

“Watch me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO SORRY FOR THE TEASE DSKDJSK
> 
> initially i had planned to continue into the slightly nsfw follow up for this but it just wasn't happening when i tried to write it... and i thought that hey it kinda suits what dongie's doing with the teasing thing anyways so.. oops let your imaginations run wild here i guess hehe
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	14. day 13 "i missed this"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As childhood friends who never really did the whole ‘growing apart’ thing, ‘we’ always meant the same thing to them. Bora, Handong, Yoohyeon. Together through everything life could throw at them. But when one night of emotions finally coming to a head changes that dynamic for the first time in their lives, Handong doesn’t know how to feel about being the one left behind.

"We've been over this." Handong says, doing her best to maintain her civil tone. "Guys, I can't-... I've already told you why you can't expect me to act the same as before."

Bora huffs, a little bit of her frustration showing through. It might've frustrated Handong in return - what right does Bora have to be irritated at  _ her _ when  _ they're _ the ones that keep dragging Handong back into this awkward situation - but she just doesn't have the energy. 

More than anything, Handong's tired. Tired of skirting around the edge of this new dynamic between her friends. Tired of not being allowed to move on. Tired of the pain she can't escape from every time she sees her friends, or even thinks about them and the way she's been left behind.

Bora stands up, abruptly drawing Handong's attention back into sharper focus. Determination slips over the shorter woman's features. It's a look Handong knows well. One that means Bora's made up her mind and is no longer even capable of changing it or backing down.

"Bora…" Handong starts, the apprehension and warning clear in her tone.

"No." Bora steamrolls right over it, continuing her approach and standing over Handong where she's sitting on the chair. "You're not understanding us. It's fine if you don't want what we want, and we'd never even dream of forcing you to… but I need you to at least hear us out first."

Handong takes in a harsh deep breath, both to quash down the anger building in her chest, but also to force composure onto her expression. She really,  _ really _ doesn't want to cry about this in front of them.

"I don't see what more there is to hear out. You two keep wanting things to be the same. You want the friendship we grew up with, but things aren't the same anymore and we can't act like they are. I know that, and you both do too."

Bora's eyes flash and she tilts her head, rolling her neck in that way that tells Handong she too is holding herself back from getting mad. It might've been enough to make Handong snap at her if not for Yoohyeon materializing in front of her as well. The taller woman sidles up to Bora, laying a gentle hand on her waist, instantly calming the air between both of them. 

The calm doesn't stop the sharp pang in Handong's heart at the sight of the casual intimacy between them, however. It's that same conflicting rush of feelings she keeps getting whenever she bears witness to her friends' budding relationship. The elation she feels at seeing her friends happy together, and the melancholy that envelops her own state of mind - the longing for something that she just can't place.

It doesn't escape her notice either, the way they've both been speaking as a unit this whole conversation. Somewhere along the line, 'we' became Bora and Yoohyeon. 'Us' no longer included Handong and each time she hears it used like that is a fresh wound added to the growing collection on her heart.

Because that's what it always had been. The three of them, that is. Inseparable as kids who all lived on the same block and grew up together. Not even the call of different schools and career paths had been able to disrupt that. 'We' always meant Bora, Handong, and Yoohyeon - no matter where their lives had taken them as they got older.

That is, until a couple months ago. When the simmering roughness of Bora and Yoohyeon's dynamic had finally boiled over into the passion underlying it.

It hardly surprised Handong when they told her. Their dynamic had always been the most fiery among the three of them. The duo constantly straddled the jagged line between mortal enemies and best of friends, Handong serving as the middling presence, there to smooth the rough edges and glue them all together.

She supposed it made sense that once the other two were finally pushed over the edge, their eagerness to bicker and push each other's buttons falling over that line and into more… carnal urges, that the natural progression would be this. A relationship between the two of them.

And Handong was -  _ is _ \- happy for them. She swears it. They're cute and already in love and they're still her friends and she's  _ happy for them. _

It just… hurts. The worst part being that she can't place exactly why.

Is she jealous? Maybe them getting together made her realize how long it's been since she's even had a crush on someone. But no, jealous just doesn't fit, not when there is that genuine joy there.

Does she miss the easy dynamic of their friendship? Well, yes, but it doesn't explain just how deep the pain and the longing runs. Nor why the times she's allowed them to pull her along as a third wheel hurt just as badly as the times she's declined and stayed home for the sake of her own sanity, no matter how good they are about including her when they do go out together.

If she really is happy for her friends, why does she feel so,  _ so _ bad?

Handong sighs. She's agonized over all of this over and over again for the last couple months, ever since the other two told her they'd slept together, starting an official relationship shortly after. No answers have come to her so far so she sincerely doubts any could come of tonight's conversation. Emotions running as high as they are, Handong just hopes to make it out unscathed.

Really, what more is there for her to 'hear out?' How could they possibly want to twist the knife deeper?

Handong opens her mouth to tell them off,  _ again, _ but this time Yoohyeon is faster.

"Dongie, please. Just give us this chance to fully explain ourselves, and we'll accept whatever decision you make from there."

Handong makes the fatal mistake of looking at Yoohyeon after she says that, putting herself on the receiving end of the taller woman's notorious puppy dog eyes. Her resolve crumbles instantly even if her apprehension does not. Even if she can't quite keep all of the bitterness out of her response.

"Right, fine. Tell me one more time how you want me to third wheel for you."

"That's not..!" Bora's outburst is cut short by a subtle warning from her girlfriend that Handong catches. A quick look and a squeeze from the arm around the shorter woman's waist are enough for her to reign it back in, returning to a calmer speaking voice. "That's not what we're saying."

Yoohyeon looks pensive, mulling over Bora's words and how to continue for a few moments. When she takes over, it's with a soft voice.

"Well, at least not in the negative way."

Handong raises an eyebrow, not impressed. Is Yoohyeon really trying to imply they want her to third wheel their relationship… but in a  _ positive _ way?

Yoohyeon's quick to start damage control, charging onwards with her point before Handong can voice her skeptical reaction.

"Sorry, what I mean… When people say they're third wheeling, it's bad because they mean it as in they're the unnecessary wheel, right? That the two are just fine on their own and the third is tacked on afterwards. But that's not the case here, because we think the third wheel is necessary, more like a tricycle. Like, you wouldn't get very far without all three wheels on a trike, right? So that's what we want here, um… because it's just not the same, without-…"

Yoohyeon trails off, embarrassed that she's fallen into her habit of rambling and waxing metaphorical when she's nervous.

The fact that Handong's face had steadily soured more and more as the younger women went on probably hadn't helped either. She's not alone in that reaction though. The Chinese woman hadn't noticed it during Yoohyeon's monologue, but at some point Bora had facepalmed, hand still in that position now in the awkward silence that fell.

Unable to take it any longer, Bora's hand falls from her face and she goes for her signature blunt approach.

"We want to date you too, Dongie."

Handong's jaw drops. "What?"

Bora's voice rises a bit, but not with anger. If anything, the extra volume sounds like desperation. Like Bora is digging for every bit of sincerity she can find, putting it out there with nothing but hope that this will work, and Handong will be there to catch it all.

"When we got together, it felt  _ right. _ Like things finally started to make sense and fall into place. But something was missing.  _ Is _ missing. And that's you."

It still doesn't sink in, some combination of sounding too good to be true and the meaning not registering yet making Handong stutter. "I-... I don't think I understand-..."

"Dongie… we want you.  _ Need _ you, if that's okay for me to say. We weren't ever meant to be a couple, because it's not the same without all three of us. We were meant to be a triad, or throuple… or whatever the fuck you wanna call it."

_ Oh. _

On the outside, Handong lets out a small, if nervous, chuckle at Bora's last line. It's so  _ her _ to tack that on to the end of a confession, as a low effort attempt to climb her way out of all the serious feelings talk.

But on the inside?

Handong's brain short circuits as it tries to process everything all at once.  _ Everything, _ because it just  _ clicks. _ She can't believe she never thought of this as an option.

Because it makes all of it make sense.

Why she felt so happy for them, but so left out. Why she longed for more even as they did their best to still include her in their lives. 

Why now, as this new option registers in her mind as a possibility, something snaps within her. An inhibition, maybe. Since in the wake of it breaking there's a sudden and fierce wave of desire and hoping and  _ longing _ that completely washes over her and any doubts she might've had.

Bora seems to know what Handong’s thinking, or maybe it just shows that plainly on her face. Either way, she takes the cue and moves even closer. 

“You feel it too, don’t you?"

Staring at the perfect curve of Bora's lips, Handong can't be anything but honest. More honest, in fact, than she's even been with herself lately. But words are hard at the moment, so she has to settle for a nod.

Yes, she feels it. Yes, she wants this. Powerful, sudden, and all at once, she discovers and accepts it. Oh, does she  _ want _ this. 

Softly, with the caution Bora reserves only for the situations where she thinks it’s absolutely necessary, she sets herself down on Handong’s lap. She places her hands on the Chinese woman’s shoulders, ever so slowly inching herself closer. When she’s so close they can feel each other’s shallow breaths across their lips, she stops one last time.

“Is this okay?”

Handong’s eyes still haven’t left the shorter woman’s lips.

“Yes.”

And then she’s kissing her, and Handong wonders if this is what Bora meant when she said everything just felt  _ right. _ It’s something she hadn’t consciously thought to want until today, but now she hasn’t a clue how she’s gone so long without it. 

Kissing Bora is everything fire. The rough, burning, and all-consuming passion that’s always felt like too much for that small body to handle, yet that Bora carries with her in everything she does. But it’s also the warm comfort of home, of settling in by the fireplace and knowing no matter how bad the day was that everything will be okay. 

When they separate, Handong has to close her eyes and take deep breaths just so she doesn’t feel like she’s about to burn away into ash. Bora connects their foreheads gently, and Handong can feel the grin she’s sporting just in the way she exhales sharply in an almost-laugh. She’s ready for the shorter woman’s antics - likely along the lines of a tease (“that good, huh?”), but Yoohyeon’s cute little whine interrupts anything she might have planned.

“Is it my turn yet?”

Handong lifts her head and lets out a laugh at the pout on the tallest woman’s face. Bora, on the other hand, chooses playfully indignant as her response.

“Hey, I did all the talking.”

Yoohyeon’s pout turns grumpy as she protests and crosses her arms. “And so you went first, that doesn’t mean you get to  _ hog _ her!”

Handong’s smile only grows.  _ Just like old times, _ she thinks. The specifics of their situation now, the new dynamics of their relationship - those may be new. But this, these two women Handong has known and adored her whole life? Not new at all.  _ This, _ she knows exactly how to handle. It’s the mediator role she’s played her entire life.

Smirking, she cuts off Bora’s response by turning her head back and planting a chaste kiss on her lips. It makes Bora pause (with that goofy grin Handong loves so so much) long enough for her to reach out over the shorter woman’s shoulder and beckon Yoohyeon closer. When Bora tries to steal another kiss, Handong gently pulls her away with a grip on the back of her shirt. It gets a whine out of the oldest and a smug smile from the youngest, but Handong’s quick to wipe that away. She takes a hold of Yoohyeon’s collar, pulling her down for her own kiss right over Bora’s shoulder.

Kissing Yoohyeon is very different, but just as  _ right _ as kissing Bora. It’s gentler, softer, almost airy. Like a cool breeze on a warm day. It’s comforting like a sweet caress of Handong’s entire body. But even so it carries a promise underneath it, of more that can be unleashed. The way a gentle breeze can give way at any moment to fierce and swirling winds, she senses that same energy in Yoohyeon’s kiss - tame until proven otherwise.

And if Bora wanted to attempt any play at envy, or pretending to feel left out, she abandons it right away. Handong can feel it in the way her hands tighten their grips on her arms. The way her forehead falls to Handong’s shoulder, a small sound dangerously close to a whimper leaving her lips in the process. And the way the shorter woman’s strong thighs tighten ever so slightly, pressing in on either side of Handong’s lap.

Handong doesn’t blame her though. It was her intention, after all. And it payed off immediately - all of those reactions from Bora firing off the instant her lips had connected with Yoohyeon’s, the soft sounds of their makeout all happening directly next to Bora’s ear. 

When they pull away though is when Handong takes stock, and everything catches up to her. She notes the way Yoohyeon had cupped her cheek with one hand during their kiss, but that the other had roughly tangled itself in Bora’s hair. The way Bora’s thighs haven’t relaxed around her. And most of all, the blown out pupils of both of the women in front of her, right before they both lean forward to start back up again.

It’s too much, too fast. And entirely irresistible, Handong knows, if she doesn’t stop right now. Before her thoughts are scorched and blown away by the two forces of nature about to consume her.

“Wait.” She says, placing hands on both of their lips to hold them in place. Panic immediately seeps into their eyes and Handong has to restrain herself from yelling in her haste to reassure them.

“No, it’s okay, that was okay. I want this, I want  _ you.” _

They settle, Bora sitting up and back, and Yoohyeon kneeling next to the chair to listen attentively. 

“I just want to… be together again, first. So much has happened the last couple months and now tonight and I-... tonight I just want to exist together, if that’s okay? Let this all sink in and feel real.”

Their agreement is quick and abundant, both assuring her that it’s not only okay but probably for the best. A suggestion is made that they cuddle puddle for the night, and the two disappear into Bora’s bedroom to fetch pajamas for Handong and change into their own before Handong can even begin to question where they intend to fit all three of them.

They come back holding hands to lead Handong into the bedroom, and she barks out a laugh the moment she enters.

“You already bought a king size bed?  _ Before _ you even asked me?” Handong asks, amused. Leave it to Bora to be so sure of what she wants she doesn’t even consider the chance of it not going her way.

“What,” she says, voice full of faux-innocence, “you’ve both always preferred my apartment, so it just made sense for me to get the big bed. Besides...” she lets go of Yoohyeon’s hand to give her a quick peck before approaching Handong. 

“I told you,” she plants a gentle kiss on Handong’s lips, “we were meant to be.” 

\-----

“I missed this,” Bora says as she curls up tighter, bringing Handong impossibly closer to her in her koala-like grip. Yoohyeon presses even closer next to her as well, easily draping a long arm over both of them. Really, Handong should feel smothered, claustrophobic even with how packed together they are. But in this case all she can feel is comfort. That sense of rightness she’s always felt when the three of them are together, but never fully noticed until it was gone.

“What, getting the chance to suffocate me?” Handong asks, feeling the need to joke even though she knows exactly what Bora’s getting at. Even though she feels exactly the same way. She’s so overwhelmed with relief and everything else it’s almost too much, to the point she tries to lighten the mood just so she can  _ breathe. _

Yoohyeon’s not having it though. “This,” she says, simply. The taller girl noses into the back of Handong’s head a bit, and Handong braces herself, not sure if she’ll be able to hold it together through what she says next. “The three of us, together.” 

Her words sit in the air around them for a bit, taking their time to settle in. Handong gasps slightly when she first says them, unable to help it, or to hide the emotion lying within her throat and threatening to escape. But as the silence continues she thinks she’s got herself under control. Bora’s shirt, bunched up in the tight grip of her hand, keeps her grounded. But just as her eyes clear and she thinks she’ll be able to stay composed, Bora’s voice breaks through that with a hum.

“Together. Where we belong.”

And that’s when the dam breaks. All the pent up emotion falls out in one burst, the tears fully forming and her body shaking slightly in their hold. It’s just too much. Handong had been so worried as they’d pulled away from each other for the past couple months. So scared…  _ terrified _ that she’d lost the best thing she’d ever had with the two most important people in her life. 

Being back in their arms, their dynamic not only repaired but completely rebuilt into something new, something even better… Handong didn’t know until now it was even possible to feel this much relief at once. 

The 'us' and the 'we' isn't just between Bora and Yoohyeon anymore. It refers to the three of them once more, like it always had before and always should from now on. It feels like everything has finally clicked into place and all Handong can do in this moment is let all the emotion that makes her feel pour out of her and into the hands of the two people with her. The only two people she knows she can trust to catch all that raw emotion and hold her together.

Bora and Yoohyeon notice her outburst right away, immediately doting on her with sweet nothings and reassurances. She lets them, their care and their  _ love _ washing over her with so much power she has to  _ tell them. _

“I love you,” she chokes out. The words wash over them almost visibly, shown in the way they first react with surprise at the suddenness, but quickly it’s replaced with fondness. They all trade soft ‘I love you’s’ back and forth as they wipe away her tears, only stopping once emotions have settled once again back into the soft warmth of earlier. 

As they return to their positions, snuggled back up to Handong, all her tired mind can think of is one thing. Bora and Yoohyeon are completely right. 

This is where they belong. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um… hi. *glances at calendar* what? it’s not already nov. 22nd, pssh, you didn’t see anything~~
> 
> lol in all seriousness tho hello and thank you if you’re still here, i said i’d finish this and i still intend to do that, whenever that ends up being. in the meantime hope you enjoyed me continuing to push my poly agenda, there’s a lot more where that came from hehe
> 
> oh also dw, i just finished writing like three prompts in one sitting in a v sudden burst of focus and energy, so you’ll get at least a couple more updates before i fall off the face of the earth again ksjdksj <3
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	15. day 14 "you better leave now"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funny how a few months can seem like such a short time and yet much too long all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since i keep forgetting to plug it - feel free to yell about fics and deukae (or ggs or the like… three kpop bois i have lol) with me @yongbora_ on twt
> 
> i also do have a (never been used lmao) cc if you wanna be the one to break that in @ curiouscat.qa/yongbora

“Thanks for coming with me.”

Bora smiles in response. It’s her genuine smile and comforting as always, even if it is a bit restrained by the circumstances they’re in.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Handong laughs lightly, giving the shorter woman a small push. “I think if you had a proper schedule today rather than just practice, that and our manager would’ve said otherwise.”

Bora just scoffs playfully. “Please, he knows better. He knows I could take him.” She jumps away, miming a few punches with soft sound effects. Once she’s pleased with the giggle it gets out of the younger woman she returns, settling back into Handong's arms. “But, really. I can’t miss sending off my favorite girl.”

“I’m telling Siyeon you said I’m your favorite.”

Bora gasps, offended. “You would not-”

That gets a full laugh out of Handong, who glances around them before quickly kissing the pout off the shorter woman’s face. “I would not.” 

Bora nods, satisfied with her answer, and dives in. She pulls Handong closer and nestles her head under the taller woman’s chin, listening to the soothing sound of her heartbeat. Handong returns the favor and tightens her grip, sighing lightly at the familiar and comforting position.

The shorter woman lets out a small noise in response, one that lies somewhere between her content whine and her pouty whine. Handong doesn’t blame her, since the same mix of happy and melancholy swirls within her as well. Standing here, in each other’s arms, it’s nice. Comforting. But they know their time is running short and the wait for the next time they’ll be like this will be long.

They stay like that for minutes, or maybe days, Handong doesn’t know at this point. But their manager clearing his throat gently snaps them out of it, even if it doesn’t make them move yet.

“You better leave now,” Bora says, but without any urgency. It’s the first time today Bora’s let any sadness leak into her tone, and Handong’s heart cracks at the sound of it. It doesn’t help that Bora contradicts her own words with her (lack of) action, still unmoving from their gentle embrace. 

Handong hums in response. “I don’t want to.”

A sharp exhale leaves Bora’s nose, like it’s taking monumental effort for her not to echo that very sentiment. “You’ll miss your flight.”

“...What if I don’t care?”

_ “Dongie.” _

The reprimand is finally enough to get Bora to lift her head. She doesn’t let go, but she looks Handong in the eyes to make her point. “I know how much you’ve been looking forward to this. It’s scary, but you’ll have so much opportunity.”

Handong can see hints of tears pooling in Bora’s eyes, and if she thought her heart cracked before… now it breaks wide open. She knows how much Bora hates to cry, and especially how much she hates anyone seeing her cry. Sometimes she still won’t even let Handong see it, and they’ve been working on getting Bora to feel okay with that for years.

“It’ll be hard… and I’m gonna miss you so,  _ so _ much. We all will. But it’s only a few months. We’ll make it, and it’ll be worth it.”

Handong brushes a hand through Bora’s hair, a small fond smile resting on her lips even as her own eyes threaten to betray her with tears as well. “Only a few months,” she whispers, a soft echo of affirmation. 

Bora smiles, cupping her cheek. “Exactly. A few months. And once all of China’s fallen in love with you, you can come back and pick right up where you left off.”

“Are you saying I can’t come back if they don’t? What if I only get  _ half _ of China to fall in love with me?” Handong chuckles, teasing.

Expecting an equally playful response, or maybe a flustered reassurance that they’d still take her back, Handong’s caught off guard by the soft declaration her girlfriend does go with.

“Nonsense. It’s  _ you, _ Dongie. With the opportunity this competition could give you to show everyone what you’ve got… Who could resist you?”

Feeling the need to lighten the mood after Bora’s genuine support, Handong silently internalizes it before switching back to the teasing. She’ll come back to those words when the days get hard. When she’s alone in some hotel, trying to find the comfort usually so easily accessible back in the dorm. When she gets back results, ponders over what she can do better, sees what questionable editing choices get made in the final cuts… she’ll come back to those words. 

For now - private area for celebrities or not - Handong  _ really _ doesn’t want to start crying in the middle of the airport. 

“Well, not you, obviously.”

That gets a laugh out of Bora, who doesn’t even try to deny it. “Yeah, yeah. You’re my weakness and what about it?”

Smiling, Handong can’t resist the urge to risk one more quick kiss before Bora returns to her place on her chest. Both of their eyes have cleared up, and Handong’s relieved. She knows they’re both sad, and that this will be hard. She’s sure there are tears to be shed down the line for both of them. But she’s glad the send off itself didn’t have to be teary. 

It’s the last time she’ll get to see her girlfriend in person for a while, and she wants to hold onto it. Remember the feeling of being in her arms, replay the last words of reassurance she’s given her. Handong knows it’ll become a bit of a lifeline for her as the weeks turn into months. 

They stay like that a little longer, moments ticking by with them content in their own little bubble. No words, the sounds of the airport muffled and far away, unable to compete with the focus on each other's slow breathing and steady heartbeats.

"I love you." 

They both say it at the same time, uncanny in how synched they are. It'd almost be unsettling if they weren't so used to being in tune like that. It gets another small laugh out of them as they both briefly squeeze tighter to emphasize their words.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees her manager approaching again and knows their time is finally up. Reluctantly, she pulls away as Bora does the same. 

“A few months,” Bora says, probably as much for herself as for Handong.

Handong reaches out, bringing the smaller woman’s hand up to plant a reverent kiss on her knuckles. “A few months,” she echoes.

And then Handong’s being swept away, the manager’s steps urgent since she knows he gave them as much time as he possibly could without risking missing their flight. 

She’s glad for the way he guides her, since the airport blurs around her, her focus unable to settle on navigating the space when it remains centered on the woman she’s leaving behind. She watches her as long as she can, Bora's hand up in a small wave as they walk away. 

Even once she’s out of sight, Bora remains her focus, her mind working to memorize every bit of their last encounter. Cementing the details of her face and the subtle nuances of her voice into her memory to hold onto for the next months she’ll spend away. 

Handong takes a deep breath, holding it before letting it back out slowly.

_ Just a few months. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way this hurt so bad to write now, knowing that dongie ended up gone /twice/ as long as initially expected when she left… oof. honestly it still sometimes doesn’t feel completely real when i see dongie playing around and performing with the rest as if she never even left, since we spent so long waiting for her. basically it means i’ll likely just… forever be in my feels about her being back no matter how much time passes lmao *starts sobbing uncontrollably* 
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


	16. day 15 "not interested, thank you"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sudden and drastic change can be scary… but sometimes it’s exactly what’s needed. And how much of a change is it really, when it’s a blast from the past that feels like coming back home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // brief mentions of homophobia + family rejection

Bora only barely resists the urge to slam her head down on the bar the moment she claims a seat. The bartender is quick to approach and even quicker to pick up on her mood.

“Something strong tonight, miss?”

Bora nods, sending as much of an appreciative smile as she can manage at the moment. “Do your worst.”

That earns a small chuckle out of the bartender as they walk away, plucking various bottles to mix together Bora’s comfort for the night. She’s not worried, she knows Yubin will take care of her. She doesn’t think they’ve quite made it past the professional boundary yet, that they could be considered _friends,_ but Bora’s confident in her status as one of their favorite regulars. 

Yubin’s seen some of Bora’s worst days, and they’ve pretty much gotten her figured out when it comes to what she likes and how much she needs. 

Not that Bora's saying she's in here _every_ night… though she'll admit her visits to the bar are a bit too frequent. At least, too frequent for someone like her, considering when she comes here it's alone and often to drown out yet another shitty day.

The problem is, she's long past the point of acceptance. Sure, her job is everything she never wanted, her life is boring… but hey, it pays the bills and she's got the spare cash for treating herself to these outings. 

That's enough, right?

If she ever stopped to think about it longer than the time it takes for the buzz to kick in… maybe she'd finally accept that it's not. But she doesn't. 

Instead she shrugs off the abuses of her soul-sucking job (god, why did she ever take that promotion?) and saunters to the bar down the road. The drinks are good and Yubin is probably one of the best listeners Bora's ever met, even with their need to serve other patrons at the same time. 

It's enough. It has to be. Because it's all Bora has.

She's broken out of her thoughts, but not by the arrival of her drink. Instead it's a woman sliding into the seat next to hers and hitting on her with a comical attempt at a deep "manly" voice.

"Hey baby, mind if I buy you a drink tonight?"

Bora rolls her eyes, refusing to even grant them the success of getting her to look up. "Not interested, thank you."

The woman laughs lightly, which makes Bora pause. She freezes, trying to decide if the familiarity of that laugh was real or imagined.

The woman makes a sad sound, a playful little _hmph_ that Bora hasn't heard in years. Her voice lifts back to its natural tone and now Bora knows for sure the familiarity was real.

"Aw… you didn't even give me a chance to change your mind with my _unbelievable_ beauty." She accentuates the last words with a dramatic flip of her hair that Bora looks up just in time to catch.

Bora can't keep the utter shock off her face.

"...Dongie?"

\-----

The way the night progresses after that feels surreal to Bora. In a good way, of course. But definitely unreal.

Handong doesn't miss a beat once she gets that confirmation that Bora remembers her. Conversation picks right up after that, as if it had been only days since they'd last spoken, rather than the years that had actually passed.

Bora doesn't really want to acknowledge it, but it's enough to already have her thinking about what-ifs. Everything from what if Handong hadn't left, or Bora had gone with her, to what if the other woman still feels the same way?

The "as well" is unspoken, even in Bora's own head. But what can she say? It's nerve-wracking to think too deeply about it even if the general idea of it won't go away. It’s been a long time, and Handong is likely just as settled into her life as Bora is. Even _if_ there were still feelings for each other on both sides, it’s not like they can just… pick up right where they left off.

Right?

Even so, Bora will admit to having entertained the idea before, during the brief times her old flame had crossed her mind. Knowing the feelings that still lingered for her, dormant in the younger woman’s absence but _definitely_ still there, it made her wonder if Handong felt the same. If the fire burned just as brightly for her as it had for Bora, too bright for even the time and the distance to ever put out.

But, Bora supposes, any flame can go out - no matter how brilliantly it burned - if left without fuel for long enough. It’s one thing for a friendship like the one they had before getting together to pick back up after this long. It’s something else entirely to expect, or even just hope, that a relationship could do the same. That Handong waited for Bora all these years.

She brushes all that aside as best she can. Handong’s telling her about how she finally landed herself on Broadway, even so far as getting a lead role in Phantom of the Opera, a dream of hers since they were kids. The excitement and pride Bora feels for her is genuine, and so is the desire to express that and shower Handong in praises. So Bora doesn’t let any of her thoughts about what they used to be, or the dreams of her own that got left behind, get in the way of catching up with her friend.

\-----

That is, until Handong herself is the one to bring them up. 

Yubin’s been keeping them _hydrated_ all night, and maybe that’s why it’s time for _this_ talk to happen. Or maybe it was Handong’s intention all along, and Bora only naively thought they’d be able to avoid it. They’d spent enough time talking about their jobs and Bora had had loads of fun listening to Handong’s stories about her crazy performer friends, she really thought she was in the clear.

Regardless, Handong does, and Bora almost spits up her drink when she sputters in response.

“What?”

Handong giggles a bit, raising an eyebrow at the shorter woman’s antics. “I said, do you still ever wonder about… _us._ What could’ve been, you know?” She pauses, tacking on something quieter at the end. Quiet enough that Bora isn’t sure she hears it right. “What we could be, maybe.”

Bora blinks a few times, trying to process. Should she comment on that last bit? Did she even hear that right at all? She’s not entirely sure how honest she wants to be to the first question, much less how she’d want to answer the quiet part.

Then again, it doesn’t really matter what she _wants_ to say. How much or how little she wants to reveal isn’t in her control. It never has been, not when it comes to Handong. 

And that proves itself to be true once again when she just… blurts it out. “All the time.”

Bora’s eyes widen, and it’s only with conscious effort that she stops herself from slapping a hand over her traitor of a mouth. So much for playing it cool. 

Handong, however, just smiles. “Me too.”

Now this time Bora’s sure she heard right, but balks at the words nonetheless. “Really?”

The orange haired woman nods, her smile only growing. “Really.” She sighs, looking up towards the bar. “There just… never was anyone else, you know? I love the people in my troupe but not like _that._ And maybe I was just too occupied with everything to look but… no one else ever made me feel like you do, Bora.”

It stirs everything up in Bora’s gut. Outwardly she stays still, but inside it all swirls, possibilities usually brushed off as silly all suddenly becoming very, very real. 

“Being back in town… I couldn’t resist. I’d have wanted to see you no matter what, but I also couldn’t miss the opportunity to test the waters. To see if it still felt the same, if _you_ still felt the same.” Handong looks back over, eyes travelling deliberately down and back up the shorter woman’s entire body in a slow but fluid movement. “Something tells me I was on the right track to think nothing’s changed between us.”

Bora swallows hard, and nurses her drink to buy some time. She can’t deny the way everything in her wants to jump headfirst into this opportunity. Handong, _Handong,_ the one who’s never left her mind, is really here. She’s here, and ready to try again. What else could Bora have asked for? 

“I… I can’t say you’re wrong.” Bora eyes the smirk on Handong’s face as she admits that, eager to slow her down. “But! What exactly are you saying we do? You said it yourself, you’re here for a bit for the run of this show and then you and your troupe are off, back to the other side of the world. If we were to try again it’d be exactly that - trying again. Not jumping right in for a brief fling before you leave.”

Handong looks hurt, and Bora tries not to feel too much of the regret that hits her at the sight. She knows she’s right, even if her body right now would love to tell her mind to fuck off so it can have a nice night without all the worrying.

“You never were just a fling to me.” Handong says, and Bora’s heart clenches.

“I know, that’s not what I meant. Just that, we have to think ahead with this. I don’t see how being set in careers this far apart from each other could ever work out, no matter how much I want it to.”

A pause settles over them, the sounds of the bar finally making themselves known once again as Bora waits for a response. She prepares herself for the worst, Handong is living her dream right now, so there’s no way she’ll change any of that to accommodate Bora back in her life. And Bora would never dream of asking her to. 

Maybe she’ll still want to go through with making the most of their time in the same country. Bora knows it wouldn’t be healthy, having to watch Handong leave _again_ would crush her. And she hates it because she knows herself, and has very little confidence she could deny Handong if that is indeed what she wants to do. 

“Come with me.” Handong blurts out.

Okay, that one Bora wasn’t prepared for.

“What?”

“Come with me.” Handong says again, this time with more confidence. “We can try again, start over. And then you can come with me when I go back.”

“I-... I can’t just… _leave._ Just like that, are you crazy?”

“I guess I am, since you always were the crazy one back in the day… but that girl I fell in love with doesn’t seem to be here right now. I’ll happily pick up the slack until she comes back.”

Bora balks at her words, so brazen and forward. It does dawn on her that Handong’s right, considering the way she’s acting is exactly the way Bora herself would’ve acted back before this corporate nightmare crushed her spirit. Regardless, Handong steamrolls right ahead before Bora can respond. 

“Why _can’t_ you leave, anyways? What’s keeping you here?” She raises an eyebrow in challenge.

Bora sputters a bit as she tries to collect herself, and flails for any solid reasons. “My-, my job for one? I can’t, what, just walk out? And… I mean, my family, my friends? I’ve lived here my whole life, how can I just uproot it all on a whim?”

The orange haired woman hums in response, not impressed. “You hate your job.”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Do you want to work in the same field?” When Bora gives a quiet ‘no’ as an answer, Handong keeps going. “Then who cares if it’s unprofessional or whatever to not give your two weeks notice? Fuck ‘em. Get out of that corporate hellhole and never look back.”

Bora weakly protests. “But… money?”

“What, your _Regional Manager_ position didn’t give you a decent savings? It’s the least such a shitty job could do.”

“I mean, yeah-”

“Cool, then it’s settled. I can also help if needed while you’re job hunting. But you’re way too talented and hard working, you’ll find something.” Handong smiles, somehow both smug and reassuring. Like she’s genuinely paying a compliment, while also very confidently shutting down any potential argument Bora could make.

“As for the other reasons…” Handong continues, a little bit softer now. They both know she’s getting into more sensitive territory. “Your family… have they even talked to you yet?”

Bora’s heart clenches painfully, and she hates that it does. It’s unfair really. How much power her family still has to hurt her, even after all these years. “No. Not once since… well, you know.”

And Handong does. She was there when it all went down, when Bora’s family found out about them. She’d seen the terrible reactions, the way they’d shut down any pleas from Bora to understand, to let her explain. She’d seen first hand the way Bora had done everything she could after that, to please them, to regain their favor - abandoning pursuit of the dream job they’d never _really_ approved of for the secure corporate one being one of Bora’s many attempts that went ignored. 

There’s a small bit of bittersweet relief for the orange haired woman. She’d always wondered if Bora’s refusal to let her go in the aftermath of what happened was why none of her other attempts to gain favor had worked. Why would her homophobic family accept Bora’s new job if she was still with a woman, after all? It’s nice to know it wasn’t solely her fault for staying that Bora’s family remained unmoved, but makes everything else so much worse to have confirmation that there was literally nothing Bora could have done to get her family back, short of simply having been born as someone else. 

Handong sighs, carefully laying a hand on Bora’s where it rests on the bar. “I know it’s hard, but maybe it’s time to let them go. For good.”

Bora’s breath hitches, but it doesn’t hit her as hard as she expected. It’s probably because deep down, she knows Handong is right. The last time Handong had left… neither of them wanted to cut it off. They tried the long distance for a little bit, but it just didn’t work. Part of Bora had considered going for it, going out on a limb and joining Handong across the ocean, but she still had hope for her family.

Family had always meant so much to Bora. Even when all the signs were there… she still felt the need to keep trying. As devastated as she was when she and Handong finally broke it off, a small part of her hoped that maybe it would be the tipping point to get her family back. 

Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t. Nothing was enough, no matter how hard Bora tried to regain their approval.

She tried so hard, and for so long… maybe it really is time to move on. She’s done all she could and left the ball in their court. At this point maybe all she can do is let them try to contact her if they ever do have a miraculous change of heart.

“Maybe… Maybe you’re right.”

The hand on top of hers leaves, but Bora only misses the warmth for a moment before that arm is wrapped around her, pulling her against the younger woman. They stay like that for a little while, both enjoying the familiar feeling. There’s something beautiful about it to Bora, no matter how the night will end. That even after all this time they can still find that same comfort in each other.

Handong’s voice is still soft when she finally breaks the moment. “So, will you come with me?”

Bora frowns, her hesitance rising back up to the surface. “Dongie, I-...”

Already sensing where she’s going with it, Handong cuts her off, _again._ “Come on, we already debunked your reasons. What was the last one? Friends?” Her tone turns teasing, even if there is an undertone of sadness due to the point she’s making. “Do you even have friends anymore?”

“Hey! I have friends!” Bora responds, indignant. Though it’s more an instinctual response than anything. A defense of what little pride she has left. When they were younger, Bora had been the one always introducing Handong to people, while the younger woman mostly kept to herself. It seems like now that is yet another role that has flipped between them.

“Really?” Handong asks, pinching Bora’s arm playfully. “Like who?”

Put on the spot, Bora flails yet again. Her mind quickly rifles through the people she knows - the friends from school and her old job she’s long since lost contact with, the coworkers at her current job that are acquaintances at best and assholes at worst. 

_Damn,_ she thinks, _if nothing else comes of tonight, Dongie’s really laid bare just how empty my shitty life is now._

The bartender crosses her vision, and Bora latches onto the only answer she can come up with. “I have Yubin! They’re my friend, right Yubin?”

They perk up at the sound of their name, making their way back over to the two women as they finish with the glass they were wiping off. “You called? Need something?”

Before Bora can plead her case, and hopefully get Yubin to at least help her save a _little_ face, Handong takes over. 

“Bora says you’re her friend, so, as her friend… You totally think it’s time for her to ditch this place for a new start with me, right?”

Surprise lifts the bartender’s eyebrows, and Bora just groans. “Dongie…” She admonishes, her head finally sinking to the bar like she’d avoided at the beginning of the night and laying defeated on her arms. 

“Oh!” Something about Yubin’s tone sets off warning bells in Bora’s head, so she turns to peek up at them. Sure enough, amusement has settled into their expression, albeit tampered down by the sincerity the bartender seems to carry with them no matter what situation they’re in. 

"So you're the Dongie I've heard so much about?"

Handong hums happily in response to that, the noise colored by a bit of intrigue. She leans closer to Bora, “So you’ve been talking about me, hmm?”

Another groan leaves Bora’s throat before she can stop it. “...Maybe a little.”

Yubin laughs… and proceeds to throw Bora under the bus. “All the time, you mean. I’ve been wondering if I’d ever get the chance to meet this mysterious woman always on Bora’s mind.” 

“Yubin!” 

Handong and Yubin both laugh at her now, both seeming to enjoy her flustered state. The bartender lets them settle back down before continuing, that sincerity of theirs washing over them and the whole conversation. 

“Really though, from what you’d told me… Bora. Are you really telling me that this woman has not only come back for you, but wants to take you with her… and you haven’t already said yes?”

Bora’s jaw drops. But, in the moment after that, as Bora waits for Yubin to say something else - walk it back even just a little - they don’t. And it makes Bora think. Really think.

Maybe Yubin has a point.

\-----

After that, the final stretch of the night is lighthearted. Yubin offers them a final drink each on the house, and it feels very much like a send-off. 

“Hey, Yubin.” Bora calls out once they’re finally packed up and on their way out. The bartender nods, showing Bora she’s got their attention. “Thank you. For everything.”

Yubin just smiles, a certain warmth to them that Bora’s always found incredibly welcoming. “Good luck. Be sure to stop by if you’re ever back in town.” Bora thinks that’s the end of it, but Yubin leans a little closer, speaking softly enough Handong won’t overhear. “I do mean that, but, honestly? Don’t come back. I might not know you _well,_ but I know you enough to have realized there’s nothing for you here. But there? Wherever you’re going?” Yubin glances over at Handong, where she’s waiting patiently a few steps away. “Seems like things are only about to get better for you.”

They lean back, that same smile still resting on their lips. She’s not sure what, but something about that exchange threatens to send Bora over the edge. Something about how even Yubin - her Not-Friend that somehow was also her Only Friend - could see just how empty Bora’s life is. How much she needs a change. And how supportive of that change they are, just because they want better for her.

Noticing that Bora seems a little overcome with emotion, Yubin swoops in like the damn knight in shining armor they are to lighten the mood. They lift up their hand for a fist bump and send a cheesy wink her way. “Now go get her, tiger. Maybe give it at least a day or two, but if you absolutely can’t wait, make sure you use protection.”

It’s more than effective, earning a squeal and indignant push from Bora _(after_ she gave them their fist bump, she’s not a monster). She thanks them again as she rejoins Handong, linking their arms together and sending a final wave over her shoulder. Yubin responds with a casual salute before they return to the other patrons.

That’s actually when it really hits Bora. When she sees Yubin’s back. She’s just said goodbye - for the last time, most likely - to the only person she really has any connection to in this place. This life she’s been living. And now she’s arm in arm with the woman who’ll take her to an entirely different life to start anew.

It seemed scary when they’d first started discussing it, and she’s sure there are logistical nightmares to come with paperwork and what to do with her stuff and everything else.

But now? She can’t deny the excitement. It’s thrilling. For the first time in a _long_ time, Bora has something to look forward to, and she feels like she might be regaining just a little bit of the old Bora. The one that knew what she wanted, and how to have fun. 

They exit the bar and start walking towards Bora’s apartment, and Handong seems to pick up on the energy slowly beginning to seep off of the older woman.

“C’mon, show me what kind of fancy place a _regional manager_ can afford, and we’ll figure out the rest of the logistics tomorrow once you quit.”

“You’re insane, Dongie.”

Handong’s response to that isn’t defensive, or even joking. Instead, it’s fond. “And so are you, Bora. I can’t wait for you to remember that once we kick things off tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOw that one… a struggle lmao. def one that i mentioned might be a thing with the a/n way back at the start of this, that i was gonna try to let go of some of these even with certain parts i couldn’t quite get right - the connective bits of this one kicked my ass for some reason skdjdsk. anyways hopefully still worth the read at least, even if not my proudest work <3
> 
> thank you for reading ^^


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